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Meditate in your safe place

I don't want to write about the VIRUS, but I have to for a bit. I try to avoid posting or sharing VIRUS related issues, because, even though it's very important that we all stay informed, our brains are inundated with this subject in every single aspect of our lives. (Unless you are living as a monk in a monastery...but even then I would think there would be extra protocols taken).

I had been ignoring some very clear, very red flag reactions that I was having.

When the pandemic started, I was in isolation because I had returned from Mexico. A month later, I found myself with all of the VIRUS symptoms and spent 9 days in isolation until I was tested and confirmed to be negative. When I went out into the world to do my grocery shopping and necessary errands, I would return to my house in a complete state of panic. I was scared I was breaking rules, I was scared I was shopping at two stores when I should have just paid more and shopped at just one store...or had myself better orga…
And just like that, June could be off to a better start. Last night was the first night that I slept soundly (or more soundly than before). I also ended things with a guy that I was on the fence about. It had been weighing me down for a couple of weeks...our definitions of how to be supportive of the other person were vastly different...and I didn't want to do that dance anymore. Maybe my June 2020 conviction helped me push that process a bit faster?

JUNE 2020

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Life seems to have blown past me for the last few (or more) months. Pre-virus, my life was too eventful. It left my brain scrambled and confused, my body tired and beat up (figuratively), and my psyche...in shambles.

Post-virus, my brain is significantly less scrambled and confused, my body is less tired (but a little beat up as I rolled my ankle and can't run for awhile), and my psyche is in a constant state of flux.

The world as it stands today is overwhelming, scary, confusing, and to me...feels like it's in shambles. And on that very same note, there is so much beauty in the world every day. People are starting to speak to one another again. Neighbors have become neighbors and not strangers. Pollution levels are lower and the nature is shining through.

For the last two weeks, my anxiety has been incredibly high. Phone calls crying to a friend or family member, medication on some days, meditation, examining my though processes and trying to find joyful things in my life hav…

The planning and laughing.

Everything seems so very simple at this moment. I am listening to Andrea Bocelli sing Ave Maria in Milan.

I know all of the words. I do not sing along. 

Millions of people around the world tuned in live to watch this man sing in a church in an effort to feel part of something together, while we are all distanced from one another.

I can't count the number of times that I sang this song as second soprano in the Knights Of Columbus All Girls Choir, while our Choir Director, a tiny little lady with an odd shape of a haircut would jump up and down, sometimes yelling,  sometimes hitting her stick so hard on her music stand that I don't know how either didn't break, practicing sections of each part of the song, over, and over, and over again. (I remember one time she made us say, "I am not a fat cow" because we were singing like fat cows, however the fat cows sing).

Andrea probably didn't have to practice as much as we did, a group of 25 or teen girls.

I can't r…

How to set up your April

Blog post on the fun blog here. How to set up your April for COVID

Fear

Remember way back when I started writing this blog. Life was challenging. Fifteen thousand kilometers from home, living in a world with no tall buildings (I remember the first time that our city got an escalator and people would ride it for fun), spotty electricity, cyclones, you name it. I remember that I would occasionally find peanut butter in the grocery stores and buy a few to have on hand and later learned to buy some while on vacation and store in our duplex...I remember that for months it seemed like Tuesdays were almost impossible, almost always leaving me in tears.

Slowly I acclimated, with the help of friends that quickly became my new expatriate family. I was no longer alone in this new world. I had my share of ups and downs, all kinds of new experiences - some bad, some good, some terrible, some wonderful, but I did it with my new family. I'm fortunate enough to still be in good contact with a lot of them, even chatting with one of them this week. We would be seeing e…

Shaking things up

I have loads of information to post...all good, I guess? Or less somber at least.

But for a little humor, please check out my VIRUS blog's latest post HERE