My heart spoke

Today I attended my first Friday morning yoga class with a teacher that I truly adore. I was so happy when I showed up and saw her setting up outside since the weather was so incredibly beautiful. We were in a local park, surrounded by trees and a small fountain. Perfect yoga setting.

As we go through our poses, she continuously reminds us to stay in the present and to really focus on an intention during our practice. I really like these reminders, because lately I feel like I'm all over the place...running in sixty directions and I need the calmness that comes with this focus.

As we stood in mountain pose (basically just standing up straight), she asked us to put our hands on our hearts and feel the heartbeats. And that's when I had a pretty nice conversation with my heart.

My heart said,
"As you stand here, I keep on beating. When you were tired and wanted to give up, I kept on beating. When you were lost, I kept on beating. When we had sadness, heartbreak, stress, I st…


This song came on today while I was driving and I fell in love with it. It made me think of our first kiss (in the parking lot of a cheesy restaurant about four days after our first date) and everything after.

Before "us", I thought that I had to be some kind of perfect version of myself to be in a relationship. I planned to not date for a really long time, until I had reached a place where I felt like I, "had it together".

The truth is, NO one has it together 100% of the time, and if I met someone while I was in my imperfect state...well even better because, 1) No one is perfect, and 2) If he can love me with all of my imperfections, then we can really talk business. Business of building a family with a strong foundation, a solid core, and an infinite number of opportunities for the future.

I wish I could see it like that all of the time...but I have to admit I have my moments where I think that he is all too good for me. Although.....if I were to make a list of …

It's the good people

Lately, among other things, I've been frustrated with the memories that pop into my head at the oddest times.

Yesterday, I was mowing the lawn, a task that I truly enjoy because I'm outside and I'm getting a real workout, without the gym, and I like the smells and enjoy the peacefulness of it. I had a flashback to January 2016...where I met John (not his real name but it's easier to just come up with a fake name).

I had just started an exciting new job and at that job.  My director handed me a project to review, mainly to familiarize myself with the industry and business. She had deemed the project impossible due to the volume of testing required. But with a slight scope modification, I could reduce the testing size by 98% and would only require two to three weeks of testing. The end result was a direct cost savings of $520,000 CAD, which resulted in a lot of attention from Senior Management. I know the attention was simply due to cost savings, not because I was anybod…

Perfect Saturday Night

Let this be a reminder to me that no matter how down I get, there's always going to be a break in the clouds...and I'll be able to pick myself up no matter what.

Yesterday, I had the most perfect day. Even though it was far from "perfect" (my back injury acted up big time because I've been sitting doing two 2.5 hour practice exams every day with poor I had to take a Robaxacet which is essentially a horse tranquilizer for me...), it was a day that I needed.

Naps, dog cuddles, trying to rest my back, and then supper al fresco with the boyfriend. We have been subscribing to GoodFoods and love that we get these amazing restaurant quality meals but that we make ourselves.

We went for a quick walk and sat on the bench in front of the lake...and just chat and laughed. No photo because I was probably still high on Robaxacet and forgot my phone.

Then I whipped out a quick workout at home while Mr. A cooked supper. I have to say that I've always been the …

The non-sucky stuff

Life is attempting to swallow me up. I differed my exam that I was supposed to take this week, simply because I wasn't ready. If I fail the exam, I'm not able to take it for another three I'm all in a panic.

This last week has been the most difficult...I have daily (or multiple) breakdowns and panic attacks...trying to study and get take practice tests...while I adapt to my "new normal" of being off work, in a new house in a new city with a new love... Basically....everything seems too good to be true...and it's making me freak out.

Anyway...enough exam talk. I know that I'll pass it eventually, and I am beyond grateful for the boyfriend...who has been a resource of support, love, and encouragement, and GREAT ideas and helps me try new things when I hit a wall. This guy is freaking smart.

In other news, here's some pics to show you what doesn't suck in my life:

It wasn't so long ago that NapolĂ©on couldn't be near Maggi…

Crunch Time, Part 1 of 3

I'm studying for an international professional exam - that is three parts. I tried to write the first exam last year but failed miserably. Mainly because:

I didn't put in enough study timeI don't really know how to studyI was super stressed with a weird work travel scheduleI didn't realize that I would have to be under such strict conditions, such as NO WATER, no watch, no scarf, have to have my finger prints taken, a retina scan (YES A RETINA SCAN!!!) followed by a pat-down before I could write. If for some reason I left the room (like to pee or DRINK WATER), I would have to go through the finger printing, retina scanning, pat-down again. This stressed me out big time For my birthday this year, my mom generously paid for a $500 USD prep course that I've been following until TODAY (I started in June). TODAY I finished the course and now starts the intense study days, where I write a minimum of 1 practice exam per day (they are 2.5 hours long), in exam conditions (no…

July Update

Creative blog title, no?

My creativity isn't so great lately.. there has been so much going on and I miss documenting it like I used to in the old days.

The biggest event is that I am officially and totally moved in with my guy and life is...essentially perfect. Except for - my brain.

I know that when I have a lot going on, when things are kind of unstable - like no job + moving + starting a new relationship + studying for a test that basically sets the tone of the next chunk of my career... well, my brain associates all of this change and technical "instability" and relates it to the previous times in my life where things have been rocky and sounds the alarms and wants to freak out a bit.

I will have to deal with that (actually, I should say, "we", because my guy has been so incredibly supportive and takes this issue on as a team problem #alonenomore), but for now, here's a quick update and I hope to start posting more photos and "Day in the Life of&q…