Begone January.

I'm ready for the holidays to be over.

Shortly before the holidays, I was lucky enough to take an amazing vacation with Ashby, but when we returned, I had some sort of virus that left me without energy (and a lot of puking. I can't leave out the gross amount of puking...).

Just as I was ready to get back into my routine (which is very important to me...especially as a student, routine is everything because....there's not a lot of reward in studying)...the holiday season came. Sure, I liked the music, the festive spirit, blah blah blah, but I also was hit-over-the-head-with-a-frying-pan with homesickness, out of the blue. Gratitude filled me as I was happy to spend Christmas Eve with my Montreal family. The evening was crammed with laughter, especially from me! But my brain had a little hiccup, too. I feel so comfortable around my Montreal family, I just felt like I was going over to my biological family's house, and when I walked in and Christmas decorations didn't…

After my walk today...

Typically, December, especially when I am not spending Christmas in Alberta, is not the easiest part of my year.
Tonight, Ashby is working extra, extra late, and I have had an emotionally rough couple of days. So I put on one of my grandfather's favorite songs, loud, and listened to the music. 
"You Raise Me Up", by Josh Groban, filled the first floor. I closed my eyes for a bit, but then looked around.
On one big armchair, sits our two schnauzers. Sleepy, but actually waiting for their "papa" to come home. On the floor, next to the fire place, on a giant dog bed, lays little Maggie, sneaking in this opportunity to spread out by the fire on the schnauzers' bed. 
                                                                              (just a few dog photos!!)

I love our little house. I love the character that three, four-legged creatures bring it. 
Earlier tonight, I went for my powerwalk, which I haven't done in a bit, somehow my routine has falle…

Strangers to In-Laws to Family

Life sometimes feels so slow....other times it feels so busy, so instead of trying to catch up, I'll write when I can and fill in the bits and pieces when I can. 
I met all of my in-laws, Sunday, April 1, 2018. I was super nervous. The day before I had a Facetime call with my mom to chose an outfit that was "in-law" appropriate and also one that I felt comfortable in. I'm talking down to the earrings and the shoes and the bracelets. The morning of, Ashby was at my house, laying on my bed, while I straightened my hair, hung half of my body outside trying to cool off, while the dog-walker was in the living room (he was staying the night because we were going to spend the night at Ashby's and of course Maggie needs to be well taken care of!!!), and I was nervous and verrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy anxious. Did I mention I was nervous and anxious?
We leave my apartment, late, and arrive at the Ashby's, late. Ashby looks tall and handsome and confident ('cause he's g…

The Worst Kid

I won't even elaborate on my last post because I don't want to think about it. I have a plan and it's not the end of the world, and let's just move on.

While I've been on my studying sabbatical, I've been volunteering at a "Homework Help" after-school program, once per week from 16h00 to 18h00. I've actually been searching for a volunteer activity for some time, so I was thrilled to find one so close to home and so fun and rewarding.

It's not without its...challenging moments. I can be...a bit emotional (on the inside...never on the outside), when I work with a 7 year-old that can't remember how to sound out her words so she can't read (but I always have a solution for the next week).

It can be frustrating when I see that there's a little shit disturber bothering one or more students that are actually trying to work...and trying to discipline said shit-disturber in a calm, light, and reinforcing way - after all - I'm not his te…

Falling..and getting back up again...

I have been in another world for the past...month...or two...or three....or four.

I've written how I decided that 2018 was not going to be like any other year....and wow, it certainly wasn't. The ending of a relationship that was already over. The ending of a job that was stressing me out and making me more and more depressed by the week. The meeting and falling in like, in love, and living happily ever after with "the one" (yup, it happened). Going through a bit of internal battle trying to convince myself that I deserve to live happily ever after and that I deserve the one (this sounds should be easy....but I'm 38 and have been hurt many times). And finally, studying for a professional exam when....I've never made a good student.

Growing up, I always made the bare minimum mark to pass onto the next grade, the next year, the next required class. I had a hard time focusing, a hard time learning, a hard time figuring out what to study. I was never &…

My heart spoke

Today I attended my first Friday morning yoga class with a teacher that I truly adore. I was so happy when I showed up and saw her setting up outside since the weather was so incredibly beautiful. We were in a local park, surrounded by trees and a small fountain. Perfect yoga setting.

As we go through our poses, she continuously reminds us to stay in the present and to really focus on an intention during our practice. I really like these reminders, because lately I feel like I'm all over the place...running in sixty directions and I need the calmness that comes with this focus.

As we stood in mountain pose (basically just standing up straight), she asked us to put our hands on our hearts and feel the heartbeats. And that's when I had a pretty nice conversation with my heart.

My heart said,
"As you stand here, I keep on beating. When you were tired and wanted to give up, I kept on beating. When you were lost, I kept on beating. When we had sadness, heartbreak, stress, I st…


This song came on today while I was driving and I fell in love with it. It made me think of our first kiss (in the parking lot of a cheesy restaurant about four days after our first date) and everything after.

Before "us", I thought that I had to be some kind of perfect version of myself to be in a relationship. I planned to not date for a really long time, until I had reached a place where I felt like I, "had it together".

The truth is, NO one has it together 100% of the time, and if I met someone while I was in my imperfect state...well even better because, 1) No one is perfect, and 2) If he can love me with all of my imperfections, then we can really talk business. Business of building a family with a strong foundation, a solid core, and an infinite number of opportunities for the future.

I wish I could see it like that all of the time...but I have to admit I have my moments where I think that he is all too good for me. Although.....if I were to make a list of …