The non-sucky stuff

Life is attempting to swallow me up. I differed my exam that I was supposed to take this week, simply because I wasn't ready. If I fail the exam, I'm not able to take it for another three I'm all in a panic.

This last week has been the most difficult...I have daily (or multiple) breakdowns and panic attacks...trying to study and get take practice tests...while I adapt to my "new normal" of being off work, in a new house in a new city with a new love... Basically....everything seems too good to be true...and it's making me freak out.

Anyway...enough exam talk. I know that I'll pass it eventually, and I am beyond grateful for the boyfriend...who has been a resource of support, love, and encouragement, and GREAT ideas and helps me try new things when I hit a wall. This guy is freaking smart.

In other news, here's some pics to show you what doesn't suck in my life:

It wasn't so long ago that NapolĂ©on couldn't be near Maggi…

Crunch Time, Part 1 of 3

I'm studying for an international professional exam - that is three parts. I tried to write the first exam last year but failed miserably. Mainly because:

I didn't put in enough study timeI don't really know how to studyI was super stressed with a weird work travel scheduleI didn't realize that I would have to be under such strict conditions, such as NO WATER, no watch, no scarf, have to have my finger prints taken, a retina scan (YES A RETINA SCAN!!!) followed by a pat-down before I could write. If for some reason I left the room (like to pee or DRINK WATER), I would have to go through the finger printing, retina scanning, pat-down again. This stressed me out big time For my birthday this year, my mom generously paid for a $500 USD prep course that I've been following until TODAY (I started in June). TODAY I finished the course and now starts the intense study days, where I write a minimum of 1 practice exam per day (they are 2.5 hours long), in exam conditions (no…

July Update

Creative blog title, no?

My creativity isn't so great lately.. there has been so much going on and I miss documenting it like I used to in the old days.

The biggest event is that I am officially and totally moved in with my guy and life is...essentially perfect. Except for - my brain.

I know that when I have a lot going on, when things are kind of unstable - like no job + moving + starting a new relationship + studying for a test that basically sets the tone of the next chunk of my career... well, my brain associates all of this change and technical "instability" and relates it to the previous times in my life where things have been rocky and sounds the alarms and wants to freak out a bit.

I will have to deal with that (actually, I should say, "we", because my guy has been so incredibly supportive and takes this issue on as a team problem #alonenomore), but for now, here's a quick update and I hope to start posting more photos and "Day in the Life of&q…

4 months plus a lifetime

Four months ago today, I went on a date that would change my life.

It was so unexpected, when my guy asked me out to have coffee I was confused because I thought he was going to talk to me about a fraud or work-related issue....and my response was pretty much clear that I had NO idea this guy was like, interested in me. I remember even asking my two carpoolers if they thought that my guy just wanted to make friends and talk about our dogs (which we had done many times before).

I remember not being able to sleep that night...totally confused and not sure what to do. I had just formally ended a...well, relationship that was effectively already over...and I thought I needed to have a longer waiting period before agreeing to go on a date, but then I thought, what the hell? What do I have to lose?

Coffee somehow turned into brunch and I was really, really, really nervous. The deal was that he was going to line up for the restaurant (there is always a ridiculously long line up) and I was go…

June 2018

Somehow nearly another month has passed by...the later half involved the mountains
 This guy
 Us together a lot

And me bringing my main squeeze back to Alberta to meet my family.

I was a little stressed....I don't have the best luck travelling with a boyfriend/significant other, so I was worried there would be a lot of tense moments and arguments spattered throughout... but it was perfect.

He just rolls with whatever is happening...was so happy to meet my family, and they were elated to meet him. It's clear that this guy - is different. We compliment each other so well....we have such a nice time together...even in the stressful times...and all I can say is that I hope it continues to be more like this.

It's also official - I have found a renter for my apartment here in Montreal as of August 1st, so I am now a resident of Notre-Dame-De-L'Ile-Perrot, a much, much smaller island. Studying has continued, I'll be ready by the end of the month to write exam #1 out of 3…

Getting my groove back

Despite any inner...turmoil (aka overthinking) in my last post, I have to say that almost every morning I wake up with a very full heart.

I haven't officially moved (but will be shortly), but basically, I'm living the lake life. It's in a house, filled with noise (the dogs), love (A and me and the dogs), and just....a kind of peace that I hadn't yet found.

I've never been a city girl, yet somehow I made Montreal my home and it ended up feeling quite small...but I love walking up to the birds chirping, the dogs singing their good morning love song (aka either crying or howling for some love/attention/food), eating breakfast either looking out at the backyard, or as of this weekend, sitting in an outdoor recliner watching the dogs chase squirrels, bark, or chase each other.

And once they run around in the morning, it's nap time until the afternoon.

Then as the day progresses, my head starts to fill itself of everything that I'm not getting done, how I'm n…

The gift of being with the one

“Giving is virtuous, but so is accepting gifts gratefully.” ~Doe Zantamata I found that quote from this article and I felt like it could have easily be written by me. It's not to say that I don't find myself around giving and generous people, most cases, I would rather give than receive in my areas and aspects of my life. What isn't so easy, is to accept the kindness of others.
Since I have been with A, he has been incredibly generous. I don't just mean with material things, but with his time, patience, and constant love. CONSTANT love. No matter what. His family has been the same. Just one quick example: Last week I had a dentist appointment (and they give me drugs because nothing scares me more than dentists) and I needed a ride. A is nearing the end of a huge project, and taking a few hours off in the middle of a weekday was super tough. So, his dad offered to take me. He drove 1.5 hrs to pick me up, dropped me off at the dentist, waited for me in the dentist…