Posts

2nd Compassion Post

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Alrighty, so maybe my posts about compassion won't be every week, but I'm trying here. Last week's post was 11 days ago...and there's been a lot going on since then. But I'll get right to the point here. Here are some things that I have done in the past (and continue to do) to help myself with compassion for myself. For the non-believers - just try it. For those trying to get into meditation and don't want anything to do with meditation, here's another reason to try this.


Click on this site: https://www.positivityresonance.com/meditations.html

You'll see the following screen:
The first meditation is called Loving-Kindness. I dare you to play it. It's nothing crazy. You can use it as a meditation, I do now. But I used to use it in traffic to calm me down (obviously not as a meditation) in Montreal traffic. Like when I was about to go nutzo in crazy traffic that used to make me stressed out before I even got to work. It helped SO MUCH.  You can try out…

Hippy stuff: Compassion

Fall is among us. Geez, that sounds like an introduction to a sermon or something. But it's true. Fall is among us and it's time for me to ramble on and review the summer and set some intentions for the upcoming season.
There is one word for the fall season and it is:
COMPASSION
The main use will be compassion towards myself, however, for me to practice compassion towards myself, I have to practice compassion towards others as well. 
Let's just take a step back here and get the true definition of compassion: 
Dictionary version: This is a word for a very positive emotion that has to do with being thoughtful and decent. (this is kind
Biblical version: The meaning of compassion is to recognize the suffering of others, then take action to help. ... The Bible defines the meaning of compassion in several ways. We are to “speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves ... defend the rights of the poor and needy” (Proverbs 31:8-9, NIV).
Why do we need compassion:Scientific resear…

The blues.

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I'm looking out the window and everything seems like it should be fine. It's a nice, sunny day...but my brain and body are tired and worn down. Looking back at the posts when I first moved to Madagascar, it seems like I have some of the same patterns. They resemble something similar to that of a volatile stock chart:
Some weeks are perfect, flying by, getting tons accomplished, and then there are some weeks where I feel like it's difficult to do anything... My house feels messy no matter how often I'm picking up after myself, I'm breaking off plans, and I just can't seem to feel the real me. But since I'm me...I guess this is the real me. 
When I look back on my year-to-date...so much has happened: January: Life changing, heart-crushing, devastating heartbreak. I've survived heartbreak before, but this was...well this was earth shattering. Not only was it heartbreak, my whole life changed. Everything that I thought was real wasn't and up and down an…

Ahhhhh, let's here it for the weekends!

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Life has been busier than I can keep up with these days lately. I'm not complaining AT ALL, I'm just struggling to fit everything in. My once effective list making technique isn't working so well...instead there are random pieces of paper around the house that I'm trying to keep up with. No, still no job, BUT, I'm finally get out of the house for things that don't revolve around the condo, errands, and the the adulting and 'To-Do" lists. I'm getting out and having fun, which is great because, although I haven't had a life filled just with tears since moving here...I haven't had that kind of fun where I actually LOL.

Last weekend I met with a random crew ranging from...well, I don't know how to describe it but sort of stick-up-her-ass (in a less judgmental way) ranging all the way to the hippy type taking acid and mushrooms.

Side note: I had no idea acid actually existed anymore...in my mind it went out in the 70s and now the Alberta mus…

The jungle of jungles

There were a few weeks that I should have taken the time to write about my online dating experiences. Perhaps...if I was truly ready to move on, if my heart was truly healed and I was ready to settle down (I'm not sure this is a feeling that ever happens...I think...from past experience, one just ends up meeting the right person...and at this point, I'm not feeling all that hopeful), I would find this truly frustrating. But for now, it can be, well, frustrating, but in the most hilarious sense.

A few weeks ago, I met up with John. Yes, this is a fake name. There was something missing during our date...and...his hello and goodbye lacked a lot of enthusiasm. So, I texted him later that night that it was nice meeting him, but that based on his body language, I got the feeling that I wasn't his type, and we didn't have to dance around the issue. Oh, but no! Quite the opposite, he told me. He found me easy to talk to, beautiful, smart, etc, etc, etc. His mom and sister were…

Mourning on the run

I don't write as often as I should. At different times writing here has served different purposes. When I lived in a far off world, foreign to most, it was a way to share my new normal with my friends and family. When I was stressed and couldn't figure out who to talk to about adjusting to the foreign place, it was a place to vent. It was a way to document my travels around the world. But more often, it was like having a coffee with a friend that just sat and listened and didn't offer their unwanted opinion. A friend that just sat and listened. Also, it was a way to document the present, so that I could go back and read what was going on a year ago, or a few months ago, and see how much my life has changed or how much I've evolved. And when things were really bad and I felt like I was just barely treading water, I could look back to those posts and see that I made it, and it would give me the courage to keep swimming harder with faster strokes when I needed to. Althoug…

Good with the Hard

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It's been circling in my head and I haven't wanted to acknowledge it. I haven't wanted to let it be there. I haven't wanted to write about it, but I don't think there are many that read this thing anymore, and I don't know where else to put it.

Yesterday was one of the most emotional days that I have had in a very, very, very long time. First off, I was reunited with this beast.

My ex flew her from Montreal to Edmonton and flew back in the same day. I talked about doing the same, but with the time change, it wasn't possible. She was an angel on the flight (after a little sedative) and when she saw me, well, it was magic. 
I had asked a friend to drive me to the airport and to drive me home because I didn't know how well I would react to seeing my ex. It's been six months...but...I just didn't know. Also, I wasn't sure how Maggie would respond to the sedative, and since I'm not the greatest driver to begin with, I thought it would be a go…