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Good with the Hard

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It's been circling in my head and I haven't wanted to acknowledge it. I haven't wanted to let it be there. I haven't wanted to write about it, but I don't think there are many that read this thing anymore, and I don't know where else to put it.

Yesterday was one of the most emotional days that I have had in a very, very, very long time. First off, I was reunited with this beast.

My ex flew her from Montreal to Edmonton and flew back in the same day. I talked about doing the same, but with the time change, it wasn't possible. She was an angel on the flight (after a little sedative) and when she saw me, well, it was magic. 
I had asked a friend to drive me to the airport and to drive me home because I didn't know how well I would react to seeing my ex. It's been six months...but...I just didn't know. Also, I wasn't sure how Maggie would respond to the sedative, and since I'm not the greatest driver to begin with, I thought it would be a go…

Cheaper than Therapy

About a month ago, I came hours early to my physio appointment to write. I wanted to write about what's been going on. I have a project going on the back burner, about my the highs and lows of mental health, and the struggles that people face and the mountains that have to be climbed in our society and the different parts that I've had to deal with, but I forgot my headphones. I crossed the street to pick up a pair and this business that I've passed quite a few times called the Float House caught my eye, so I thought I'd go in and see what it was all about.

It's basically a tank of water, so big that I can stand up in it, and so wide that I can do a starfish and not touch any end of it, filled with Epsom salts to a certain capacity, so that no matter how heavy one is, you float. There is no light, no sound, no stimulation, and the end goal is to be completely sensory free. To just be.

I'm big into guided meditations to help me relax, but with me running around …

Strength

I haven't written in so long and it's been calling me. I've started a blog post here and there and I've written a few about my trip, and I have to, this last trip was pivotal in my journey to becoming an Albertan and my journey to getting over heartbreak and just moving on...and accepting that after ten years, things change, and after ten years, things just don't go back to the way that they used to be.

Before my trip, I was a mess. I was exhausted - physically, emotionally, and mentally. I didn't realize it, but having a circle of people around you for support, and knowing that they are nearby can make a huge difference in getting through a big life change. I went to Africa, knowing that I needed to go back to my roots (yep, they are my roots) and learn to be appreciative for the small things and learn to know that joy will come back into my life again, and I wouldn't be...functionning the the level that I am now, without that trip. Apart from the many, ma…

The Real 21 Days

I’ve been sorting through the memories of my trip…it’s unbelievable the experiences that I went through. 
I had no idea how strong I was. I slept on a thin mat on the ground in the heat while my back was in way more pain than I admitted. I am someone who thrives on sleep and needs a good night’s rest, yet somehow was able to go three weeks with horrible sleep, often waking up every hour, and yet most days able to enjoy the experience, despite my heart broken and my mind ready to go to a negative place at the drop of a hat. I helped unload and load the Lando, I carried my bags, I put up and took down my tent every day (except on those days we stayed in hostels/hotels). I did it because I had to be strong, because I came to Africa for the experience, and because I was determined to have those special moments in Africa that I longed for. It was worth every stinky pain cream that I purchased. It was worth every pain and every tear I cried. 
Yet, I almost let them slip out of my hands becaus…

Reality bites...or hurts my hip and heart

Quit Edit: I’m in Amsterdam Central. So at least I made it out.




I knew the camping trip wasn't going to be a luxury day at the spa...but I wasn't prepared for how it would effect my...well, dare I say it...old (?) body. Maybe old isn't the old...and I don't think out of shape is the word either...but I have this back/hip issue...that I don't want to get too much into, but it was around for most of 2018, despite all of the money spent at physiotherapy and acupuncture. It really restricted a lot in my life. When I found out that I was heading to Edmonton, I made a phone call to the miracle sports doc I met when I was heavy into long distance running and boot camping. He's great and he's one of those guys who actually doesn't  want to see you, he wants to fix you ASAP. Within a few weeks I was relatively pain free and we had a plan for my camping trip and I thought all was well. HA! No way. Let me start with a quick rundown of a typical day of the trip...a…

Little Lulu

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On day 12 (it still feels surreal to say that…I can’t believe there is a day 12 of 21…and that day 21 is over), we visited an area called Damaraland, where the Damara people feature a living museum of how their people lived. Some of the Damaras live this way today, but it gets complicated. In many cases, the bushmen have been driven out as it is illegal to kill any of the game animals and the government wants to have any of the young children in school. More recently, there are organizations and NGOs set up to preserve their culture, but as there are several different cultures in Namibia (i believe the number was around 11 or 12) it’s difficult to preserve them all. 
The Damaras set this “Damaraland” living museum up to raise funds, raise awareness, and to show tourists how they once lived, and how they continue to live in part. 
Now - I have to be brutally honest. I was very interested in the first…two or three bushmen tribes that we visited. It was amazing to see how they lived off of…

Top Ten Themes of the Trip

Wow. Remember when I used to travel and blog daily or every second day about all my adventures? Yeah. I can’t even imagine doing every three or four or five days with this trip. This trip was insane. 
There are some themes of the trip. In no particular order they are. 
I'm a granny with a minor but extremely painful hip/back injury, but I think that I can do anything and the pain will go away when I want it to. Heartbreak hotel....campground.  R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Learn to spell it in all languages please. I'm independent, but pleassseeee like me. Please. Who won World War II? I forgot, can you remind me again? Africa Magic & Africa SurprisesThe kindness of othersWhen it comes to age, in many instances: 39 - 25 = 20Fat CampThe wheels on the bus on round and round - so don't f*ck with my seat.It will take me some time to write about each theme...and each theme doesn't need to be written about. Like #1. 

For those of you that follow me on Facebook, some of the stories will be…