Basically, the fact that I choose to make my crazy thoughts public knowledge makes me a target for people to judge my them. That's all fine and great...but sometimes it makes wanting to blog difficult. And I find myself thinking about what the negative-people will think about what I write. And then I remember that one of the things I always talk about is learning to care LESS about what people think of me. It's something I've struggled with since forever.
I think the blog - along with some of the choices that I've made in the little bit - serves practical life lessons on how to do this. I continue to do/say things that I want to do and maybe it provokes some reactions or judgements. I'm not really responsible for those reactions...so I don't have to deal with them...
Well, when I say it so logically...it doesn't sound that hard after all. I write in this blog for myself and my family. That's all that matters.
So...I'll start by writing and publishing a post about my day. I had.. a lot of ups and downs. Here goes:
- I feel like I wasted half of my morning dealing with stupid crap.
- I'm excited/nervous/sad to go to Canada - there are good things waiting for me along with a few sad things too.
- The last week or so - especially today - I feel like I've been struggling with the English language. At times I feel like my French is improving...and my English is getting worse. But I don't speak well enough French to properly communicate or convey my message. I struggle to find words or make proper sentences in both languages. It's probably nothing and just a result of me having five days to go until the end of a very long and eventful rotation...
- I am surrounded by people that make my life full of smiles. I get nice and funny emails; quick conversations in Malagasy (which always end in laughter and smiles from both parties); and friendly staff.
- I used to share a ride with a fellow co-worker...but things got too complicated and I can't share a car with him anymore. As I already complained about last week...this results in the chase for a ride. I have a regular ride to work, but today I wasn't on the ball to get a ride for lunch. I gave up and ate cereal at my desk - which resulted in me feeling majorly sorry for myself. Which accomplishes nothing.
- See #4. This is important enough to mention twice...
- My air conditonner broke at work and I sweat so much I made my hair damp. Le gross.
- I had a great hour-and-a-half long meeting today where I actually felt like something major was accomplished. :D
- There was a super smushed up dead dog on the middle of the road tonight.
- My hair hasn't been done since early March. I look like shaggy porcipine.
That's all I got... I think it's time for some yoga, some tea, and some bed. Goodnight!