Princess Spider Killer

The night before I left for vacation, Sergio woke me up. There was a spider the size of A FREAKIN COFFEE CUP on our bedroom floor. I am blind as hell and I could see this thing clear as day withouth my glasses on….

He went and got the can of RAID, tried to spray it, but it ran away. And he couldn’t find it.

Since I’m all tough (and I was really exhausted) I just went back to sleep and thought nothing of it, until he told me the story again the next morning.

Later that afternoon, I was packing, and I see this flash dart before my eyes. I look up, and there in the bathroom, is the biggest spider I have seen. This spider is something out of a horror movie. It’s hairy and big and HUGE. I want it dead. Now.

It’s far too big to kill with a shoe (and I’m too scared to get that close to it) so I go and grab the can of RAID and start spraying. Normally, RAID works within seconds and all should be good and dead…. But it didn’t even phase this guy for at least ten seconds.

I continued spraying.

Finally, he fell down onto the sink (I screamed as he fell), but wasn’t dead. I continued spraying until there was no movement. Half a can of RAID later, I think he was dead. I put a paper towel over him and left him for Sergio to flush down the toilet. I wasn’t picking that thing up.

(I’m really grossed out with dead bug bodies. I frequently kill bugs in our house with my shoe and leave the shoe on top of the bug body for the maid to clean up. I know, I’m not a very nice person).

Last night I was getting ready for bed and I saw a spider about the size of a golf ball. It was pretty big. I ran to get one of Sergio’s shoes (I’d never use mine….I don’t want the guts all over it!) and dropped it on the spider. The shoe fell, squished the spider, fell to the side, and about two hundred baby spiders came spilling out of it!!!! I was horrified. I’m pretty sure I saw the same thing when I watched the movie Arachnaphobia….

I ran and got the can of RAID, tried to kill all of the little babies, and then slammed the door.

This morning I woke up, opened the door, saw the hundred or so dead spider babies (some escaped….and are currently procreating and going to terrorize me in the near future), closed the door again, left a $20,000 AR tip for the maid, and ran out of the house.

And then sent an email to the landlord of my house telling him about my horrific story. (I'm sure this will be his top priority....)

It’s been awhile since I’ve had a princess moment (the last one was over a year ago when I stood outside my villa throwing stones at a gecko because I was scared it would attack me) so I guess I've come along way.
(Reminder to self to pick up a few extra cans of RAID and some mouse traps for these gigantic spiders....)

*Update: Those in charge seem to think there is some kind of nest INside my house. And so they are going to spray & fog the entire house. Which means a camp out somewhere else sometime soon. Ick.*


  1. Yuk! I'm not bothered by spiders but these sound like mutants.Love G&Gxxoo

  2. AHHHH - i'm totally freaked out by spiders...I would have died of a heart attack (i'm not kidding). The baby spiders remind me of when my friend's Mom vacuumed up a spider and it ended up laying it's eggs inside the v/c...babies everywhere...

    Best to get it fumigated.