I have been a bit stressed for a week or so. I think it’s pretty common, everyone goes through moments of ups and downs with stress, and its nothing unmanageable. Except I’m running a bit low on patience. It’s almost the end of my six week mark, and I still have almost three more to go. I’m on edge.
Yesterday, for literally NO reason at all, I just spazzed on Sergio. It had something to do with him talking on the phone too loud. Seems like a reasonable reason to absolutely lose it, right???
After Spazzapaloza 2011, I stormed up the stairs, stormed in my office. I sat down for a few minutes. And then realized I had just got furious at Sergio for NO reason, and then went to the bathroom (with my phone) and cried. I called Sergio, he was fine. I think a little confused why I got so incredibly mad (I was perhaps more confused).
I stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes and cried (When I was in Italy, my friend got some sad news on the home front. We were in a restaurant at the time. She started crying, and after she stopped, I couldn’t get over how perfect her makeup stayed. She taught me the trick, I used it yesterday and it worked perfectly. Thanks again, Kelly).
Anyway, after I was done crying, I came back to my office, and actually was able to focus on work and be productive. A year ago, I would have been calling the driver to take me home because I would be inconsolable, but now, I just went back to work like nothing had happened. I still had had nice makeup even!
But, I was still a little shaken. And not exactly proud of myself for losing my temper. It’s fine to be stressed. It’s not fine to take it out on someone else (no matter how understanding he is….).
Anyway, I left work, and called a friend. I talked for a few miutes and then called my grandparents. Turns out my grandpa had a procedure completed yesterday for heart problems and it didn’t go as well as it was planned. It’s not all bad news, but it’s not all good news either. If I got this news if I lived in Canada, I think I would just be concerned. But when I hear about it and I’m 15000km away from home…well…..I kinda want to fly back that second. Just in case…
Anyway, it’s a Wednesday, which means it’s a run day (have totally got my running grove back). I got my gear on and started my run. I have a program on my ipod and the run was programmed for exactly 29 minutes.
In the first 45 seconds, this happened.
There was a dip in the gravel that I didn’t see.
I’m lucky. I fell in such a way that the rest of my body got most of the impact so when my chin hit the curb, there was minimal impact. If i would have fallen one foot closer to the curb, it would have been my head. I laid there for a few seconds. Then sat down in the grass for a few more minutes. I put my iPod workout on pause.
And then I got up. And finished my run. Madagascar already had the best of me once that day, it was not going to get the best of me twice in one day. I completed by run, as planned.
Walking home, my body really started to hurt. It was dark so I couldn’t really see what was scraped and bruised just yet.
I got home, took pictures of my injuries, and then had a shower. This was one of the most painful showers I have ever experienced. I still didn’t cry. I made Madagascar my bitch. Even though it kicked me when I was down, I got up, and finished my entire run, as planned.
After my shower, I had a victory supper of Green gunk, juice, Baileys, and a protein bar.
Green gunk, is actually Amazing Grass. It’s a mix of like a whole boatload of veggies and other healthy crap. I worry I don’t get enough good nutrients here. It is very gross and very green.
Anyway, I was showered, fed, lying in bed, watching Glee, and then Sergio came home. Cue the water works. I’m totally fine until I get a little sympathy. Then I turn into a six year old….
So, yes, I cried twice in one day, but overall, I consider today…. a success.
I had some kind of like nervous-breakdown-spazzing-fit and then went crying in the bathroom – I still managed to pull myself together and go back to work.
I fell and nearly broke every bone in my body (ok….slight exaggeration…) – I got up and kept on running.
As lucky as I am….this expat thing is freaking tough.
So for all the times that I went home crying, for all the times that I felt like I was never going to make it here, for all the times I failed at something I was trying to do, last night proved to me that I’m stronger than I realize.
Yesterday, I had a good day.