100 drops = a small puddle

There’s been a lot of ups and downs going on in my life lately. I don’t want to write too much about the job stuff, so I’ll sum it up. It sucks.


I have a lot of cheerleaders and a lot of good leads. I’ve been shocked at the support I’ve received and am encouraged by management involvement in my job search. But until I have a signed contract in my hands, my life – where I live, where I’ll work, what I’ll do for work – is all up in the air.

So…sometimes I’m a bit stressed. I was on my way back to work from town after a particularly frustrating meeting. A task that I NEED to get done can’t be done in the way that I had hoped for. I’m sure there’s another solution, but I expected that I would have been further along by now. I was in a pissy mood. It was hot, I was sweaty, tired, and cranky.

Somehow I start talking to my driver about how the project should contribute more to the community. There is currently a lot of support to the community by our project, but as an employee of the project, I feel like I should do MORE. I’ve tried things here and there and have always failed miserably. I kind of went on a rant how a project as big as ours should have at the bare minimum, a program that lets employees choose if they want to deduct x amount of dollars to x charity and have their money automatically deducted from their paycheque.

I asked the driver, “Doesn’t it BOTHER YOU THAT EVERY LUNCH YOU SEE FOOD WASTED AT THE CAMP?!?!? And that NOT FIFTY FEET AWAY THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW WHERE THEIR NEXT MEAL IS COMING FROM!?!?”

He was silent. We are pretty open to having interesting (but appropriate) conversations, and I was surprised of his silence.

I asked him, “What’s up? You can talk about this openly with me. We don’t have to have the same opinions to have a conversation about any subject.”

He paused a few seconds longer, and said, “I don’t know what to tell you. But you can’t change the way the world works. It’s not that we’re happy being poor, it’s that we accept it and we’re happy for what we have. You are one like a drop in an ocean. You will make yourself crazy if you think about making this equal.”

Talk about take my breath away. Here is this driver, who makes on average $100-200CDN/month, driving around a princess without a financial care in the world, and HE tells ME this.

I can’t explain in words what this made me feel. Okay, I’ll explain it one sentence: I’m nowhere NEAR ready for this part in my life to be over. I want to stay here and learn more about how to be a grown up, how to deal with the unpredictable, and how to be happy in life – no matter what. (Okay that was 2 sentences. I’ve never been good with numbers….)

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