Rainbows & Sunshine

Ok. So yesterday, I had some kind of nervous breakdown. (Ok, probably not a REAL nervous breakdown). But I was so tired, frustrated, and....FRUSTRATED, that I couldn't deal with anything else. After my computer crashed, I just left. (It was past 18h30, so no big deal).

I’m frustrated at work. I’ve been trying to get something somewhat simple done and it HAS TAKEN ME THREE MONTHS. Part of that is due to the rotation schedule – everyone is always away when you need them (or I’m on vacation), but most of that is just due to Madagascar. I kept three staff an hour and a half late last night while they were waiting for software to be installed on their computer.

I made them come to work today to use the software to catch up on some work – and the software is still not installed. WE HAVE BEEN REQUESTING THE SOFTWARE FOR OVER THREE MONTHS. There is even a special process and sheet that we have to get approved and sent to the IT Department, and that’s all been done. TWICE OVER. AT LEAST.

Oh – and yesterday – I had a yelling match with one of the IT Staff. That’s always professional!!!

So now I look like boss of the year. Hey guys!! Stay late Friday. Come into the office on a weekend, and oh – by the way – I’m changing into a fancy dress at 09h30 and taking off for a few hours to go to a beach wedding. But, have fun at work!!!!

But that’s not all that’s bothering me. In the last two weeks I feel like I’m juggling 900 things at once and that my work is suffering. I had a meeting with my boss to review something and I left out like a HUGE IMPORTANT part. Like, I totally dropped the ball. I even told him that I was embarrassed during the meeting. In “real life”, it’s not exactly like the end of the world – I fixed it quickly. But it just goes to show that my mind is all over the place. And I’m tired. And I think it’s only week two? I can’t even remember that.

Also – I’m not running as much. I’ve been having headaches, and when I run, they get worse. However, I think my headaches are not so much sinus related as they are stress-related. I had an almost THREE HOUR meeting last Saturday, and coincidentally, I had a crazy migraine after. I had work to do, so I fashioned myself an ice pack for my head out of workout t-shirt I had in my office, some ice from the cafeteria, and an elastic. I made myself like a turban-ice pack. Most Saturdays my area of the office is dead, but since I had a turban on my head, the Manager of Human Resources, the Vice President of the PROJECT, and five others decided to walk by my office. A few took pictures. Ha. Ha.

Now, I know – that work is progressing. Obviously something’s getting done because I’m here from 07h00 to 18h30 six days a week (well….i duck out early on Saturdays….), I don’t have access to any fun websites, so something must be happening. But I’m still frustrated.

I know this is common. I know this isn’t the first time or the last time that it’s happened.

This weekend is crazy busy. I have a work project I have to finish. A beach wedding to attend to. A pool party tonight. A going away party for a colleague. I know that all three of those events are things that I really should do, because I’ll have fun. And as one of my good friends told me last night, I need to have a few drinks on Saturday night and get a little silly.

But, I’m super overwhelmed and stressed. I’ll get over it. It’s just been awhile since I’ve felt this way.

I’m possibly sounding like a crazy person – first for writing this and second for posting it for the world to see. But, I like to look back on these posts later on and see how things have changed.

My first few months here are filled with posts like this. Now that I’ve been here for nearly two years, the “nervous breakdown” posts are less and less. And really, life would be pretty boring if I was just this happy person running around all the time pooping rainbows and sunshine.

Ok. I gotta go to change into a fancy dress and ditch out on work.

Comments

  1. Sweetie the beauty of your blog is that it is just you....and if someone choses to read it and doesn't like it....then they should stop reading it!
    Do what you do best....enjoy your life!
    love, mom

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