Gazillion Word Blog Post

I seem to start a million blog posts...whenever the mood hits me....I type most of it, and then just scrap it. I think that whatever I'm writing isn't:
  • interesting
  • appropriate
  • legible
Interesting: I don't have much going on that's, like, interesting to read about. My moods are all over the place, I started the week off on the wrong foot with an afternoon migraine, work has been wacky, and I'm worried about my future. Ok, maybe some of it would be interesting, but that leads me to my next point.

Appropriate: There are potentially people I work with reading this blog (ok, I know there are, I just don't know who). Since I spend 12 hours a day at work, it's obviously an area where I'm going to have the most problems with. I don't feel it's appropriate to talk about work, or to go into too much detail about my job hunt. I've had some positive events and some negative moments. I'd like to write about them all (there would certainly be a few curse words), but it's not really appropriate.

Legible: My French is improving constantly. My English - specifically my written English, has gone down the tubes. (And I had to spell check "legible"). I know from experience that this comes back quickly, but it still takes me a bit of time.

So, the old Nicole, would be like, Since when did I care if anything I ever wrote was interesting? If it's not, skip onto the one of the next gazillion blogs about whatever. And appropriate? I have described disastrous bathroom events on this blog. And legible? Well, as long as it is somewhat understandable....then who really gives a rat's ass. (I sometimes say these kinds of sayings with our local staff and trying to explain them....just never makes sense...).

Okay, so here's a random update then. Interesting/appropriate/legible or not.

The camp totally does not suck. Like, I was all prepared to TOTALLY hate it and spend my days trying to figure out where else I could live...but...I really don't mind it? It's probably because it makes me feel more like it did when I first moved here. I spent more than a year in it kind of feels normal to me. Now - I haven't solved the laundry issue... but I'm working on it.

Speaking of work, I still don't have a job lined up after May. Yes, I know that on Saturday it will be a full two weeks since I knew for sure that my contract wasn't going to be re-newed...and I don't have anything lined up. Okay, so I get that I have to be patient... but I'm really not. I know I'm handling it okay, but I have moments where I think everything will be fine, and I have moments where I'm pretty sure I'll end up on the street because I suck as an expat, employee, and person in general. Yes, still dealing with that bi-polar spectrum of moods.

For the panic-moments, I have listed the worst case scenario.

Worst Case Scenario
I don't find a job in Madagascar or elsewhere by May. I hang around Madagascar for a couple of weeks, and then head back home. I continue to job search and take a prep course for an exam that I want to write for a program that I will take (more on that another time, this post is already too rambly). I'll live off of my savings, I'll contact everyone I've ever met to try and find a job that suits me, and we'll deal with things from there.

I/We can deal with the worst case scenario. It is truly like the LAST thing that I want (except the exam thing - I gotta get that going), but I can deal with it.

This brings me to another topic. I totally feel like I've told everyone about this, but I really don't think I've told anyone, I just kind of figured that everyone would just know somehow.

By April, all of my worldly possessions will either be in Madagascar, or in Ste Therese, Quebec. I'm moving provinces. Normally this would be like a major thing - but for some reason moving provinces seems less than a big deal than potentially having to move countries for work.

I'm at a time in my life with Louis where I want to make this move. We have an unusual-but-legit-none-the-less, family. I'm not sure how to define our family - but it's made up of one man (father and significant other), one woman (significant other), two children (who share their time between their mother and their father), and one dog (that follows the children wherever they go).

Never thought this would be what I define as a "family", but my ideas on a lot of things have changed in the past two years. I'm still learning how to deal with two (very loveable, kind) teenagers, how to handle dating a father to the two teenagers, and how to not kidnap their dog and bring her to Madagascar (kidding. Sort of. I love this dog. I make Louis put her on Skype for me...)

The next few months are going to be really interesting. I almost want to skip to the end of the book to find out what's going to happen. I guess that would be a lot less interesting.