Feet First

I haven’t written anything interesting on here for a while because I had a whole lot of interesting to say. And if I’m totally honest, I don’t even know if I like it here anymore. I don’t know if I’m happy here. I don’t want to freak out my family that reads this, but I’m really unsure of what the next steps in my life are going to be. (Also, you can’t worry because you know whatever happens I always end up on my feet).
Here’s what I know: I know that Louis would like to do another project and I know that I absolutely have no idea what I would like to do. His contract ends March 2014 (my current one ends May 2013), so he’ll stay at least that long. I think. I’ve considered not trying to renew (we all know the dramarama that comes with the contracts) and having a long distance relationship for a year. I’ve considered staying here another year (given the option). I’ve considered quitting and going back to Canada, live off of my savings and take an entry level job somewhere, just something to pay the bills.
There are times where I just accept my life how it is, there are times where I love my life how it is, and there are times where I know something isn’t right but I can’t figure out what. Maybe that’s life in general?
It’s confusing, because sometimes I’m so excited to leave wherever I am to come “home” to Madagascar.
All of this could be a “rough patch”. I live far away from everything I know and even though I’ve been doing it for a while now, I’m sure there are like, patches where things just seem harder. If I read back on my blog, there are certainly times where I’ve been pretty unhappy and also times where I’ve been super happy. Maybe I’d be going through the same ups and downs if I hadn’t moved away. Maybe I’m adjusting to my new job. It’s mega different (but better) than my previous job. But I did think that the difference between my last day of work at my previous job and my first day of work for my current job would involve an office change and that’s it. I’d know exactly what to do, how to do it, and where to go. WRONG.  
I know all of the rational "To Do"s in this situation, but sometimes the rational gets knocked out of the park by the emotional.
I think one of the things that freaks me out the most is that I have no idea what post-expat life look s like. I’d like to just.take.one.day.at.a.time, but…I’m not always sure how to do that.
And sometimes maybe I just still have a bad day. Or week. And maybe that's ok too.