It's hard cause it IS hard! (TWSS)

So...after 1174 days of Madagascar life (which I guess is an untrue number since I've spent many days off of the island), I had some kind of "light bulb" moment.

THIS WAY OF LIVING IS HARD. That's why we get the pay uplifts and that's why we get weird questions during our job interview and that's why we have to go through an extensive (and disturbing) medical before setting foot here.

THIS IS HARD. Not impossible.

So allllll of the times in these 1174 days where I've felt frustrated, confused, angry, incompetent, or...a million other feelings - have been wasted. I'm not supposed to find this "easy". If it was easy...everyone would be doing it and everyone would be loving it.

Sure, they throw us a bunch of extra goodies to make up for it, which I gladly accept, but I never realized's OK to think that this is hard.

I always felt like some knock-off expat because I found certain parts of this job/lifestyle really hard. IT'S CAUSE IT IS HARD!

It was sort of in my thought process while I was writing Adventures in Apple Crisp (I, II, III, and IV), but I still couldn't put my finger on it.

It's okay that I struggle! It's okay that I want to give up some days. It's okay if I DO give up some days.

Having this pressure of constantly trying to live up to this "image" that I'm totally okay with this lifestyle and that I totally get's TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY fine if I think it's hard.

That's why I have friends and family. That's why I have an expat community. That's why I take vacations....and that's why I learn from this experience. That's why I started this document...the process. Going from 29 years of Canadian life to 3+ years of Expatriate's different AND ITS SUPPOSED TO BE.

This is kind of going in my "stop to smell the roses even though the logistics of smelling the roses is super super difficult" kind of moments.

And as far as this picture goes...I have no words.