We suck sometimes

I know what I want to write but I don't know how to write it properly, so forgive me because I'm just going to do a brain dump.

Sometimes Louis sucks. And sometimes I suck too.We work weird/long hours, we get tired, we are different yet the same, and sometimes, Louis sucks and he annoys me and we argue and I don't always see all of the wonderful things that he does and the wonderful person he is and I/we don't always appreciate the day-to-day stuff.


Yesterday, Louis made my heart burst (geez....I feel like I'm writing a cheezy romance novel now) because he truly, truly cares and he is truly an amazing person. Even if he sometimes sucks.

I gave my grandparents a call the weekend before my grandpa's surgery. We chatted like normal, and I planned to call them before the surgery. My plans didn't work out (and as much as I complain about feeling lonely, I am horrible for not picking up the phone more often) and I didn't call. Louis had been wanting to email my grandparents for a few weeks but kept running out of time at the end of the day. He didn't want to not have spoken with my grandpa before his surgery, so Monday morning (Sunday night) he called my grandpa.

Louis talked about our dunne buggy ride in Hawaii and our upcoming visit in January.

And then he said, "And Nicole made me promise to tell you that she loves you." {And yes, I totally cried when he told me that}.

Louis kept things upbeat and cheerful, because in the big picture, this surgery is really something good for my grandpa's life and good for our entire family. Without the operation, my grandpa couldn't be his true self (full of energy and ready to dance nearly every song), and after the operation and recovery, we'll have an almost-good-as-new grandpa. The recovery period is long, but after that there is so much to look forward to.

Most of us (me included) were wrapped up in our (warranted) fear because it's such an invasive surgery and the recovery time is going to be filled with ups and downs. Louis has an amazing way of keeping the big picture in mind, and I love him for it.

I often focus too much on the present. If I have a bad day, I focus on the bad day instead of focusing on a new, brighter and better tomorrow. If I do something that I wish I didn't, I focus on the mistake rather than what I learned from the mistake. If I'm sad about something in the past, I focus on that instead of focusing on the good things NOW. It's not a behavior that I do 100% of the time, but it's something that will help my overall happiness.

So far all the times that Louis sucked, yesterday he reminded me of all the wonderful ways that he doesn't suck. Or better yet, all of the wonderful ways and traits that he has that totally rock.


  1. And Grandma says "Amen". Thank God for answered prayers and for Louis.


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