But none of that "has" to be done. So here's what I wanted to write about today.
Ok, so Canadians, go ahead and hate me for complaining about the heat. I probably would if I were in your shoes. It's +32*C with 80% humidity. And it's cooler today than earlier in the week. I ran on the treadmill yesterday because I seriously didn't think I could possibly run outside (and I was sick-ish for a few days and this was my first run after). I wanted to run today, but the moment I stepped outside, I ran back inside. Louis and I stayed inside ALL DAY. It's slightly cooler now at night, but it's still this heat that just sucks the life out of you.
Moving on. Yesterday I went to get my hair dyed. I feel like this was a brave move. I gave her more instruction than I normally would, but she did a pretty good job! Not totally what I had asked for, but a valid attempt and most importantly:
- my hair did not fall out
- my hair did not turn orange or any other undesirable color
Not once did I think, this is kind of gross watching a mini-lizard eating swarms of bugs while I'm in a "salon".
Since it was so hot, I took my shirt off and wore the cape. But as soon as I was done, she took the cape off and I just sat there (I had a tank top on but it wasn't something I would ever walk around in). And since she had some extra bleach left over, she bleached her mustache while we were waiting for the color to process.
I knew that we'd be in the open so I put bug spray on before I went. But the spray doesn't seem to mind these tiny little bugs that bite and are annoying. It's not painful but itchy and uncomfortable.
Tomorrow (Monday) starts the one week countdown. I'm kind of annoyed because I wanted to be down a full 10lbs by the time I went back and I'm soooooooooo close, but I guess I'll have to wait. That's kind of ok with me because even though I'm losing painfully slow, it's a healthy and easier way to lose weight. The last time I lost weight (again, on Weight Watchers), I was ridiculously over-the-top resulting in fast weight loss but nothing sustainable.
If it takes me the rest of 2013 to lose the next 20lbs...so be it. At least I get to have some fun while I'm at it. Wow. Imagine if I could have that same balanced approach to the rest of my life? I'd be set!
Speaking of heading back to Edmonton, I'm kind of nervous. My grandpa had his surgery and it's taken a toll on him and our family. Long term illness/recovery is a process that I don't understand (I'm not there to see it), but all I know is that it's draining and frustrating, often with little sense of accomplishment. I need to be strong and I need to stay positive knowing that there will be a good outcome eventually. But seeing my grandpa not feeling well....well, I don't generally handle things like that well. I'm kind of a baby and I like to worry, so I'm nervous. But I know as soon as I get there, whatever the situation is, I'll be ok. It's just the anticipation.
Also, this will be my first return to Edmonton since my friend died. I don't know if I'll see his brother or sister or wife (timing is tight). I don't know if I'm strong enough as a person to see them either. I still struggle to accept that he has passed away. It doesn't always seem real in my head, and maybe part of me likes it like that. When I get to Edmonton, especially if I meet up with his brother, I need to keep it together. (None of his family reads my blog). I think seeing his wife may be easier because they have a little girl. I find it hard to be around kids and be sad. :) I'm kind of hard on myself because it's not like I was like BFF with the guy who passed away but I'm so affected by it. I guess he was my brother-in-law for 4ish years (I honestly can't even remember anymore??) so I'm "allowed" to be sad about it. But I just feel silly.
Anyway, all the anticipation and worry will be gone soon enough, because I'll be with my family, see my friends, and be on vacation.