Hot and Cranky

I'm so incredibly frustrated at things here and I hope that it's because of the jet lag. This is my forth day on site, so maybe it's almost over? I don't know. "They" say that it takes one day per hour of time difference, which would mean that I need eight days in total.

There's always been talk about Louis and I getting a "real" place to live in.

I shouldn't complain because things really could be so much worse, but I'm so incredibly sick of where we live.

First, it's dirty. I've asked them not to mop and that I'd mop myself, but that only lasts a day or so. I'll come home to see they've mopped the floor (with dirty water).

I hate the way that our clothes smell. I would kill for a washer and dryer. Life was so much better when I could launder my own clothing.

Also, our place smells funky. Apart from the mop water...I don't mean to be harsh, but many of the housekeeping staff wouldn't have access to clean/running water. It was +42*C with the Humidex yesterday. Do the (smelly) math. Yeah, maybe I'm a horrible person for saying it, but it's true. Some housekeepers are generally nice people and it's not their fault that they live humbly. It's quite rude of me for complaining how bad they smell, but day in and day out....coming home to a smelly house or having my office smell for an hour after it's cleaned (I often ask for my office not to be cleaned, but then they get upset because they think they're doing something wrong)...some days it gets to me.

I bought us cool pillowcases and sent them in for washing and SURPRISE, they came back ruined. I'm just talking about some pretty plain white cotton pillowcases with a fun design on them.

Everything has to be locked up because we have theft from staff on site. I keep my medication in 3 different areas, so that if we get broken into, I'll at least have a stash for a week or so. I'm stupid and I often leave my laptop not locked in the closet, but even that frustrates me, because we're given a lock that you'd use to lock a can easily be cut.

The food...well, the food can get to me too sometimes. We just switched caterers, so they are having their start up pains as far as supplies....and sometimes I just want some freaking mustard.

Back to the talk about Louis and I getting a place. It would be simple and still within the confines of the compound, but would have a room, a living room, a bathroom, and a washer and dryer. Oh, and a small fridge and a stove-top. Basically - it's paradise. Early to mid-2012 we had a more senior person "helping" us to get a better solution than our hotel room, but that didn't work out.

The last few months we've been told it's a possibility, and while I completely think that the person telling us this believes it's possible....I think that too much red tape and shitty bureaucracy will get in the way and that it's really pointless of me to hold on to the hope that we'll get anything different that what we have. And in all reality, is it really someone's job to make me individually happy when there are about nineteen hundred other things going on?

And then there's this:

Now I don't know where I belong. I can't handle the cold in Canada and I can't handle the heat in Madagascar.

(The AccuWeather RealFeel® temperature does just that. The RealFeel® uses multiple factors including the temperature, humidity, cloud cover, sun intensity, and wind to explain how hot it feels outside.)

And then there's work. How do I ever do this job? How can I just up and leave for 2 weeks? I'm so swamped with things to do that I don't even know what to do. I'm usually obsessed good at prioritizing and list making, but yesterday and today I just feel all off.

I know that complaining will get me NOWHERE and positive thinking will help....but I'm freaking tired.

I'm always happy to say....that tomorrow is a new day. And tonight is perfect weather for a treadmill run.


  1. Keep your chin up and know that you are made of good stuff and what your doing is just venting and that's very healthy. It keeps your mind from dwelling on the silly stuff that gets you down. So keep venting and know that you have all of us cheering for our expat woman and we have all been blessed with each other to care for us.Just think in a very short time you will celebrate your first wedding anniversary and tell us where has the year gone. Keep on keeping on. We love you. G&G xxoo

  2. thanks grandma.
    it was just a bad day. xo