Opening my mind....A LOT

I'm pretty sure it's evident to most, blog readers or not, that I've been just a bit of a basket case lately. (Or, I'm always a bit of a basket case, but now I'm even more so).

While there are so many avenues to pursue for jobs, I'm not going to have one for an undisclosed amount of time. While this IS a blessing it IS a reason to freak out. No, I won't go poor. Yes, I'll find things to do, but it's a major life change that's happening when I'm already kinda stressed so it's just not going that well for me.

I have good days and bad days. OK, I have a lot of bad days. Everyone is just telling me to enjoy it. I would love to. My life would be so simple if I could just enjoy it. I'm struggling.

Part of me wants to go back to Madagascar and them ask me to stay and work on some kind of project, the other part of me thinks that I need a break from Madagascar. That I need a break from life. And while not everyone is fortunate enough to get one, here's my shot.

Which transitions well to my next topic. Yoga. I don't think I can consider myself a "yogi" because I dabble. When I lived in Canada, I went to Moksha yoga (basically, slow flow class in a freaking sauna) and I loved it. I also do yoga podcasts. (For those out there that think yoga isn't a workout - try a 20 min free podcast from this site - you'll be very surprised).

And now I have to backtrack. When I did my cycling trip in Italy last year, on day two or day three, I decided to give up worrying. I thought that it was the stupidest thing in the world and SUCH a waste of energy. It was like I had a new outlook on life. That lasted until real life started again and all was forgotten.

But I still practice guided meditation at night (helps relax and sleep) and the odd yoga podcast. So while I get short doses of it, it's nothing like I had when I was in Italy. And when I was in Italy I had "it", but it wasn't something that stayed with me.

So bare with me, people, as I go on what seems to be the scariest adventure for me yet, and go on a 9 day yoga retreat, beginning April 22. Like, a real retreat. Not a Yoga "bootcamp" where you get drunk on trendy drinks after or whatever (that was my second option actually, but I decided to jump in feet first), and do the full retreat thing, with a real Indian Yoga Master (I don't actually know if that's what they are called or not....I have more research to do), where my daily schedule looks like this:

06h00: Kriyas
06h30: Pranyama and Guided Meditation
07h30: Tea
08h00:Yoga Class
10h30: Brunch
11h30: Teachings
13h00: Rest
16h00: Tea
16h30: Yoga class
19h00: Supper
20h00: Teachings
21h30: Rest

(Tea is like, a snack, not just a cuppa).

Uh....yeah. It's a massive jump from my yoga practice. But I'm looking to take some of the concepts out of yoga and carry them through my daily life. The characteristics of the various components of yoga have always interested me. And I've been over-anxious for a bit too long, and the feeling that I had when I was in Italy, and the feeling that I get after a calming (but tough!) yoga session, is so much different from a feeling that I get from a run. It's being at my own mind.

Now I know this probably sounds insane. 'Cause it really sounds insane to me! When I found out how rigorous it was, I decided not to go. Then I started talking more and more about it, and I decided it's the perfect thing to do. I think it will be probably one of the hardest things that I've ever done. I'll have to try sooo hard to get myself to get rid of my "monkey mind" (I'm not sure where I first heard this, but it's basically like your brain has so many thoughts going around swinging from vine to vine).

I've been struggling to feel a sense of balance and calm for a long time. Alright, so my lifestyle doesn't exactly help that, but here's an opportunity to try something a little out there, incredibly challenging, but something that could benefit me for the rest of my life.

Don't worry - I won't drink the Koolaid, and I won't be converting religions or anything. I'll be in regular contact with everyone back home.

To get some balance and calmness in my mind, I have to open it to new experiences. Here's a pretty freaking big one.

Kriyas (Exercises and breathing techniques intended to purify and cleanse the body's energy channels. For instance, one kriya is to rapidly pump the stomach muscles in and out as if breathing but without taking a breath).

Pranyama and Guided Meditation (Pranayama, the formal practice of controlling the breath, lies at the heart of yoga. It has a mysterious power to soothe and revitalize a tired body, a flagging spirit, or a wild mind. The ancient sages taught that prana, the vital force circulating through us, can be cultivated and channeled through a panoply of breathing exercises. In the process, the mind is calmed, rejuvenated, and uplifted. Pranayama serves as an important bridge between the outward, active practices of yoga—like asana—and the internal, surrendering practices that lead us into deeper states of meditation).

1 comment:

  1. Sounds relly interesting. Do you have an escape hatch if you need it? Enjoy. Love G&Gxxoo