In Tenerife

I´ve been struggling dealing with the surreality of my life -  and not just my personal situation. I can´t understand how my life has changed so much. How did I get to a place where I vacation in the Sahara? How am I in the Canary Islands? How did this all happen and everything change so much from what I thought it would be like? How can I process the sights that I´m seeing? I´m just a normal accountant from Alberta.

I´m done with that. I´ve over analyzed every single decision I´ve made in the last five years about nineteen times, and it´s pointless. No one´s life truly makes sense, why things happen and why things don´t. (Ok, except for like, the obvious things like, I didn´t pass my math exam because I didn´t study, and that kind of crap).

So I´m done questioning the Hows and just going to focus on accepting the situation. I AM here. I AM feeling happy, or crappy, or AM covered in tears. It seem like a much less complicated way and eliminates the word ¨normal¨from my vocabulary.

My life is normal to me. That´s all that matters.

Ok -  now on to the vacation part. I´m staying at a goofy hotel. It´s a nice chain, but my hotel was built in like..the 70s or something and is funny. It´s kind of like an old, old, Holiday Inn. It works and does the job. But there are some quirks.

I´m here a few nights and then I think I´ll be renting an apartment for a week. I´ve found one that I like and I have the luxury of checking it out BEFORE I book it. Airbnb.com has some awesome deals, but after my last two experiences with them...I´d like to try before I buy.

I´m staying at a different hotel that my traveling compadres - an entire 650m down the road - and it´s well worth the savings. I can chill at their hotel pool and eat breakfast and get ready and sleep and stuff at my place.

Today they are picking me up at noon for a day of ???? I don´t know what we are doing. ´

Overall, I´m still going through the motions. I´m processing about fifty-seven emotions a day, which can be tiring, but I know it´s part of the process. I´m just trying to be extra extra nice to myself and keep telling myself that what I´m going through won´t always feel so horrible.

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