Today was another roller coaster ride. I knew I wasn't in the greatest mood...but I wanted to get out and do something. 

For some reason. Craig agreed to join me and we went to the downtown farmer's market, which had moved into City Hall for the cooler temperatures. 

I'm lucky Craig was with me...because the borrowed truck I'm driving is crazy hard to park and I needed him to get out and direct me for at least seven minutes. 

The parking meter was a whole different seriously, I've been away from Canada for too long...I'm really, really out of the loop for these simple kinda if things. I think at one point, I yelled, Where are the instructions on these things for African people!!!! (Thankfully....there were no actual African people around me...that could have been awkward. 

Speaking of vehicles, I finally bought my own. I bought a used Civic...because even though I want to create a new start with different things...why mess with something I already know. This one doesn't come with any I'll have to be extra careful. 

I always liked coming to this area, but have never had a reason. I'm determined to make a meal maybe soon I'll be able to come and actually but produce...

...instead of just taking pictures of it. 

I don't quite understand reason for the hay-hoe-down theme, but this and the truck made me feel extra Albertan. 

Another reason I need to meal plan. I have been eating so much junk and crap lately.  I'm sure I gained half of my breakup weightloss (which wasn't really that much...but still) and I need to quit with the junk. It's supposed to be a treat...not an all the time thing. (Side note: I am do confused when or when not to use a hyphen. I think I both over and under use them.)

This kinda surprised me? Not sure why since the first time I are goat it was in Edmonton (at a church function...not knowing it was actual goat meat). I didn't think it was that mainstream. (Yes, Craig was embarrassed that I took a picture). 

We weren't there for very long, but it was still nice. 

Although (sorry sorry sorry), I kind of think Quebec is a little prettier than Edmonton, today it was nice to walk around and recognize things. I still don't remember how to get to half of the places around town...but after the last two weeks, it was nice to start to feel at home. 

The last two weeks have worn me out emotionally. There is just SO MUCH stuff...and I procrastinate and I cry and I essentially live a double life. There's this one life I live, full of friends and family and laughter and happiness; and there's this other life, composed of a long, long list of broken dreams and hope. This other life can take over at any time...and is, for right now, a really sad one. 

I know I have to live through this harder one, instead if always trying to escape it or force the happier one...but I haven't found the balance. I either keep myself too occupied with the happiness and active life, or sink into the sad one and spend Saturday night feeling sorry for myself. 

So...I kind of realize that I'm in a funk. I need to go back to planning my week, maybe even a tentative plan for the week after that, and stick to it. Good days and bad days will still come...but I need to find a balance. It's been too up and down, which is in part, totally normal given the situation, but there are more things that I can (and will be) doing for myself. Here's to project Get My Shit Together (GMST)

So I guess my Saturday night at home wasn't all a waste, except for the bowl of Cheetos I ate...