New, Blank Template
Anyway, I've changed my blog template.
My most favorite template was when I had a picture of the Canal Pangalanes as a header, with my schpeel written on the picture. I screwed around too much with the HTML code and lost it, so I took a template background of a world map, and then more recently the view from an airplane.
I didn't like it. First, I don't see myself doing a ton of airplane travelling - oh, except going to Montreal later this month...and maybe some kind of week on a beach if I can swing it...ok, so maybe there will still be some airplane travel, but I want still want something fresh and new. So I chose a completely blank template that's incredibly plain (which won't be changed until I'm bored or become less frustrated with HTML code).
Second, a new, blank template is kind of a theme for me right now. I want to a template, a pattern, a routine, and even though I'm back in Edmonton, I want it to go into it completely blank, with no expectations of how things "should" be.
"Should" sometimes rules my life. I should be working by now. I should have progressed further in these courses that I talk about taking. I should have gotten my investments/mortgage crap moved back to Edmonton. I should not depend on anyone. The acceptable time where you can lean on friends should only be one month. Like where do I come up with this random shit? (I should not swear on my blog). (Actually, I am trying to swear less, I'm not on Plant Site anymore, but that's unrelated).
If I do indeed use this blank template approach, my intuition will tell me when it's time to go to work. Leaning on family/friends/loved ones is acceptable. Staying independent isn't the only way of living one's life and it doesn't have to be mine.
I continue to hear how well I'm doing, handling the move back to Canada, a divorce, and the random shit (good or bad) that comes up in life that wasn't expected. A lot of the time, I think I am too. Which makes me trust myself more, which makes me feel strong, and confident that I'm taking the right path, even though it's not developed yet. Even though it's completely....blank.
This new, blank template isn't my favorite one. Just like my favorite old template, most of my good memories still come from Madagascar. I looked back on my blog for roughly today's date, but four years ago. I rode my first pousse-pousse...after going insane from trying to get a driver. I felt great that day. Like I was starting to come into my own. Taking charge of my own situation, doing things that maybe weren't the norm, following my intuition in a completely unknown situation.
I want to live like that for as long as I can: Remember my favorite memories while making new ones on my new, blank template as I