The Real Blog Theme
I go through every single emotion almost every single day. The good ones and the bad.
My morning/afternoon was filled with mostly good and the evening...well...it kind of tapered off. I get scared because (in an extreme abbreviated explanation) I basically have to believe and trust in the process of reconciliation, give it the time that it needs, and have faith in something...that has hurt me in the past. Hurt is a hard thing to forget. At least all the time, anyway. I have to be patient and let myself be all crazy and emotional and feel whatever I feel, when I'd almost like to be five months from now, with five months of mutual trust rebuilt and five months of foundation built...but I guess I'd miss a lot of the good parts, wouldn't I? And there are a lot of good parts to come.
A big part of my frustration lies with the fact that our reconciliation is an extremely happy event...like HUGELY happy event. But I'm not always happy. I'm finding it incredibly stressful. Ok, so maybe my main emotion is happiness...but making all of these big changes...when I've already made so many big changes the over last 10 months...is overwhelming. I am overwhelmed completely. Although less so with time. MAN, I have ZERO patience sometimes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok..so...change of subject. I had a pretty exciting morning today!!! I interviewed with a volunteer organisation. I am SO excited! (As soon as my police clearance goes through) I'll be working three times a week. The first (that is the very most ever exciting!!!) will be teaching math to a class of adult students through an adult literacy project. The second will be an hour reading to/with children one-on-one for an hour. The last one will be working with, well, those that are in the hard-knocks stage of life, trying to get back on their feet. It will also be one-on-one, helping them with their resume, prepare for their GED, preparing for an interview, etc. I'm most excited about the math class and am kicking myself for not going earlier!! The police clearance takes ten days, but next week I go for orientation so I hope things pass quickly!! I'm just so excited! I know all three will probably push me out of my comfort zone in ways that I haven't even thought of yet, but I'm really really looking forward to it.
Man, I feel like every blog I write is so scatterbrained & all over the place. And yet, I want to write because I want to do what I used to do. Write my blabbering and feelings...and look back in a year from now to see how things have changed. Or two years from now.
Anyway, as far as my craziness and overwhelmingness (I'm making it a word)...well...I think that's pretty much the tone of this blog...like since it's inception? ;)