Why I'm going crazy today

This morning (or this afternoon) hasn't gone all that well for me.

I'm guessing this is normal...but I'm overwhelmed by all of the changes in my life. I knew that I'd be moving this spring or summer (my rental here is short term) but I never thought too much about it. Now I'm moving back to Quebec sometime in April...which seems like tomorrow...and I feel like I haven't done the best job I could living here. Now I feel like it's some kind of countdown...that I want to get in as many lunches and coffee dates as I can, because I know the next time that I'll be back it will be for a visit and it just won't feel the same.

(Before we go any further, Louis and the girls would totally move to Edmonton, but that damn dog Maggie just won't have it. And it has to be a group decision ;o) )

So today, all of the future plans are overwhelming me...I don't even have this place set up and I'm making plans to move again.

I know that this time the situation will be different. I have a better idea of what I'm getting into. I also have a better idea of the area, I know my gym and my yoga studio (and plan to start volunteering there right away so that I can get me some free yoga!), I know where to get my favorite groceries, I have my running route all picked out. The major difference this time is that I won't be alone. I guess neither of us knew how hard it would be to try to establish myself....by myself. No one wants that to happen again.

Logically, I know that things will be alright because I we'll make them alright. But today I'm overwhelmed with the thought of leaving my friends and family. I have a Quebec family (one near Montreal and the extended family only a few hours' drive away - oh, who are amazing, by the way)...but I'm still sad to go. I know I put up one of my (ninety thousand) quote/pictures not too long ago, something to the effect of not to look back at what I'm missing but the things to look forward to (of which there are MANY).

But today's mood...is kind of set on anticipating the move. Louis and I talked about it and instantly started crying (a common occurrence these days. I know you're sooo shocked). I know that I won't always feel like this and I'll learn to adapt just as I did when I was in Madagascar. But right now, my emotions are getting the better of me.

To kick me out of my crappy mood, I started unpacking some of my delivery from Quebec. Stuff that has been in storage since 2010. Oh my. I have some serious ugly shit. Like mega ugly. I know that my tastes of improved as I've gotten older, but I'll still be traumatized by some of the absolutely hideous stuff that I've bought for my homes over the years. I'm could almost make a museum out of the eye-damaging junk/art/decorations.

Now, I'm off to the gym. Back to my first Kickboxing class post injury - not to be actually confused with real kickboxing. This is kickbox aerobics - an amazing cardio workout - but one where I look like some kind of version of an 85 year old drunk lady with an inner ear infection. I need to take a video of that shit.

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