"Feeeeeling your Emotions". Blech.

This week hasn't been particularly easy. The last month has been a bit of a gong show. Anxiety buildup before Louis came to Alberta, spending a week with him, and then this past week trying to get back to my regular (non-regular) routine. Married life felt really, really good. Married life in the same household, without the pressure of a thousand errands and the countdown to departure date, felt even better.


But I spent this week rather depressed. For as much as I have to look forward to, I have a lot going on and...I carry around a lot of baggage that I have to work through. Luckily, there's always the phone-shrink system in place that has worked well for me in the past. But I'm tired of having all of these emotions.


Phone-Shrink (PS) & every book I read & anything I can find on the Internet, all lead to the annoying fact that I have to go through these emotions in order to get past them. Never have I experienced such an exhausting process. Like, when there's a hard class at the gym, a super draining and exhausting one, I know that it's one hour where I have to push myself, and I know that for the next day or so, my muscles will let me know that they were used in a new way. But all these emotions? No time frame. No break. No predictability.


I'm trying to be all like, relaxed about it, but...I confuse the emotions that I'm having now with those that I had six or seven months ago. I was going through a really bad time. And I fought the negative emotions so that I could cope and that my healing would progress. Now, I'm supposed to do the opposite and feel all the emotions so that I can heal. Confusing much? Isn't there some kind of magic pill I can take to make these more bearable? (Well, I think there are quite a few indeed...but not anything legal or healthy ;) )

(Here's a Wiki-How article that pretty much lists the super duper obvious basics of how do deal with emotions. It's no fancy smancy science...but I like it).


Thankfully, while I am going through my depressed week, I've had some help. A husband with impressive understanding skills, regular Skype-dates with Louis and the girls (the ones where we eat a meal together are the best), my family, a friend or two, reading (Pema Chodron is still my favorite), goofy gym classes, and a dog to babysit. (The dog was equally as comforting as she was stinky, and she'll be back on Saturday for the next two weeks.) 


And thankfully, next week is already turning out to be a busy one. Two mornings helping my grandma, (FINALLY) my math teaching orientation for volunteering, a few appointments (including one PS), and I'll have the dog to distract me.  Here's hoping for a week with a few more positives than this one.

:)

No comments:

Post a Comment