Just over a month ago, I wrote a post about me joining a 6 week online bootcamp. Well, the six weeks are up as of Sunday...but I've only managed to do five weeks worth of workouts. I'm debating giving up the last week....but I don't want to give up, even if it means I'm a week behind.
I've seen some physical changes, I've noticed a significant difference in strength (burpees anyone? I can now do them with a push-up included with ease. That's a toe push-up, not even an "on my knees" push-up!), but failed to see any results on the scale.
Sometimes I'm pretty bummed about that (ok, A LOT of the time), but others...I'm indifferent. Yup, I need to lose weight. But...if I'm making healthy changes to my diet, excercising, while going through a fairly erratic time in my life...does it matter THAT much? Well, sometimes yes. Other times I think I have my overall well being to take into account...and then it doesn't seem like the end of the world.
Does the world look at me and see this obese creature that I like to see in my head? Probably not. Does Louis or the girls or the people I love notice a difference? Well...no.
So I think I just have to keep at what I'm doing. Pay attention to what I eat, cook heathy meals, continue to find healthy ways to workout (I have a free personal trainer appointment tomorrow), and the weight that seems to haunt me will come off when I have some stability and a bit more calmness in my life.
In the mean time, I need to do a lot of work on being kinder to myself and learning to love the skin (and extra 30lbs) that I'm in.