I’m starting to feel like I kinda know what’s going on in my life. *Knock on wood*. There’s plenty of stuff going on that I’m not thrilled with (Louis leaving the country for one), that I’m still adjusting to (hello 05:10 AM wakeup call), that I’m really starting to like (seriously, I’ve never dressed/looked this fancy pants in my life & it’s fun on the weekdays!!) (And even better when I look like a hobo on the weekends),
and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get this whole downtown living. I still don’t understand how I’ll ever manage to get anything done and be able to relax on the weekends. I’m thankful that we I had a two week adjustment period before the girls live with us again…because last night I had smoked salmon for supper and Louis had leftover frozen pizza. Like JUST smoked salmon on a plate. I worked late (I will every 2ndWednesday), I chatted with Louis too long, I finished working out at my bedtime and it was either salmon or bed without supper. I’m totally rocking the brining my lunch (because I’m don’t think I’ll like the café food, I’m trying to lose weight, and I’m trying to save $$). I’m pretty much rocking in the not missing the train thing (only 1/8 times has been a close call). I’ve even started taking my lunch at the same time so I actually sit with people, some of which I can even name, and both yesterday AND today at lunch I had conversations with people. To be honest, the loner in me would like to eat at my desk, check my Facebook as I shove my chicken breast in my face, but I’m fighting off the urge to be anti-social.
Tonight Louis is at his mom’s house so that he could get a long overdue visit in. Part of me doesn’t like this cause I like sharing a bed with him at night, and the other part of me is excited because I can eat whatever I want for supper…and…healthy eating or not…I’m seriously contemplating McDonalds. Yes, I live a crazy exciting life when eating at McDonalds is a big deal. I also kind of like it because I get our dog’s undivided attention. Maggie is only my dog when Louis isn’t around…although since I’ve been working she’s starting to follow me around the house….and she’s also started to try to get me to chase her around the house (a little game her and I invented) at 05h30am. While this is fun, I don’t think Louis appreciates hearing her nails on the hardwood floor while he’s trying to sleep in until…I don’t know, a luxurious hour like 7 or 8 am. Anyway, I treat Maggie like my little child, and I’m very excited to come home to her tonightknowing that her puppy love will be JUST FOR ME. I know I sound like a nut job, but if you met Maggie, you’d think the same thing too.
Last week, I randomly starting crying on Saturday because I was SO. OVERWHELMED. I was in, “My life is falling apart” mode,which happens often to me because I have trouble seeing grey – I generally fixate on black or white. All good or all bad. That seems like weeks ago…instead of days ago…because I’m feeling so much better. There’s still a chance I might cry next Monday night (as I have cried the last 2), but Tuesday thru Sunday, seem to be good. The difference between this week and last? I’m WORKING. I’m contributing. I say things and my boss responds with a, “Yes, you’re right, good idea!”. Some of my tasks are purely secretarial like sending out countless meeting invitations for a particular project…but I’m still learning and doing something and not wondering how I’m going to find my way to the bathroom.
I still miss the jungle life. I miss working with my husband. I’ll miss working in the same country as him even more…but I’m trying to be as positive as possible about that. We did it once, we learned what DID NOT WORK, and we’re LOUIS & NICOLE VERSION 2.0 (a term we’ve actually coined).
Life is far from perfect on my side of things, but life is a lot better than last week.