I think this is my last weekend in the boonies. I asked my favourite landlord, Gustavo, if I could move in early and he was more than happy to oblige.
July 1st is technically my moving date and in Quebec is officially considered, "Moving Day". Not Canada Day, but moving day. Oh, Quebec. You're so....weird.
I'll be able to move June 27th, so I guess I'll beat the rush. So...this post is about to get serious...and kinda sad...but nothing can change the absolute THRILL and excitement I'm feeling about moving into such a cool freaking area.
I'm at a cafe relaxing, thinking about how things will change next month. It will be the first month that I won't be a slave to the commute from work to the boonies. As an anglophone, it's very unlikely that I'll ever find work off the island of Montreal (yes, it's an island. I still don't quite understand it all...) so for me to continue to make the commute, is not sustainable. Maybe some people can do it...but I can't anymore. I'm burnt out.
I'm sure I've mentioned a few times that "we" are moving...& it's a temporary thing, but it's time to come clean. The "we" is myself and the dog. It may be temporary as its a furnished apartment and I have me own things in storage...but the move out is permanent. Current marital status is officially "SEPARATED". With no chance of reconciliation.
The who, the why, the when, the how...is unimportant. My heart...is heavy, my brain..is overwhelmed with questions, my spirit...is filled with anxieties and worries...and my body is tired and feeling the effects of stress. And my credit card...has been charged a very large retainer for my...(gulp)...divorce lawyer.
I'll never be able to understand how another person's heart or mind works, so I'm trying to focus on nurturing my heart and keeling my mind as healthy as possible. Working out, taking time for myself when I need it, seeing a shrink, making sure I reach out so that I never feel alone in an unhealthy way.
Thankfully, I have a good job, a life here, and now I even have a handful of friends. My boss already knows about some other personal issues that I'm going through (cause when it rains, it pours), so he's been understanding although he doesn't know the entirety of it all yet.
I am going through an incredibly stressful time, but it does seem like I'm in the best place for a shitty situation. I still feel exceptionally blessed. Nothing can change that.
So there you have it. Probably most of you have suspected it anyway...I'm not great at hiding my reality...I just wasn't ready to put words to paper.
So again, the blog will take another turn. My life, another turn. A single girl living the life in Montreal. My new place (and new status, I guess) brings on an entirely new lifestyle. The Plateau area is an area of little shops, cute little boutiques, and brick townhouses and walk ups. I'll have a butcher, a bakery, a produce place. It's suuucccchhhhh a cute area that is soooooo awesome. And the place that I found is pure perfection and suits me sooooo well. My landlord had to leave quickly for business and we get on quite well, it just seemed like the perfect fit.
I'm in for a rough ride...but I'm also feeling my strength. I have many, many bad days. Sprinkled throughout them are some pretty great ones too.
Until next time...