I'm not quite sure how I've been getting through the days. Thankfully I have an understanding boss and my best Montreal friends are usually a few short steps away as they work in the same building as me and are ready for my meltdowns at any given notice.
Yesterday, I had one come and drop off an orange (which is slightly funny because in December a co-worker that I didn't know was crying and I was awkward so I offered her an orange...) and today a work friend walked with me to pick up sushi for lunch (which is so not in the budget for this month, but everything is pretty much a wash this month....) and just hugged me while I cried.
No one can truly "help" me through this process, but it's an amazing feeling to know that I am loved and supported...pretty much from one end to the world to the other.
I am really, really, really looking forward to the weekend ahead. I plan on relaxing a lot near my place, NOT DRIVING (or very minimally), walking around, hanging out with the dog, and seeing a movie with a friend on Saturday (the same one that took me for crying sushi). It's a funny story how her and I decided to be friends. We work in a mainly male company, and one day we were talking how it's very nice to have such good guy pals, but both of us needed a girl friend. So, I asked her to be my friend (like grade one style) and we've been pals ever since. She's so incredibly thoughtful....as a random note - we are booking a chalet for the summer (it's what everyone does here) for a couple of nights and on the website she used, she filtered only for chalet's that accept dogs. Because of Maggie. We are going with 8-12 people....I don't know if any of them mind dogs, but she made sure that our chalet accepted dogs. She's just thoughtful like that in small and caring ways.
So while my public blog breakdown yesterday sounded like crap, it's a way for me to express myself, as always, but life isn't so horrible. Yeah, I'm very, very, very tired. I look every minute of my thirty five year old self. But...my quality of life has improved DRASTICALLY since moving, it's amazing now that I have a reasonable commute and live in an incredible area....and I have family support back West and friend support here.
I may end up being a little dog-crazy at the moment...but the little rat makes my days and nights so great. She's a little disturbed with the changes (and she got a haircut which always freaks her out for a good week), so she's very clingly, she's not able to go up/down the stairs without making it look like she's climbing a freaking mountain, but I see her very happy and living a good life, which makes me very, very happy. She gets walked at least twice per night (and once quickly in the morning) and she's loving meeting the new people, smelling everything (I wash her paws after every walk because even though my area is awesome, the streets are dirty and I don't want that crap in my house), meeting new dogs, and best of all - learning how to cross the street. I'm trying to teach her to stop and sit each time the sidewalk ends and we wait there for a few seconds....so that she can learn that she can't just run ahead. Oh - and I'm trying to teach her English....since I look like a fool speaking to my dog that only understands French when it's clear I'm an Anglophone.
Ok, I've rambled on enough. Tomorrow is Friday. I've managed to get through today with some tears, laughs, and some progress on the lawyer front... so all is as good as can be.