Lucky - one of the gamut of emotions I experience ever hour.

Every day that I continue to work here, I pass through a vast range of emotions. Shame, regret, guilt, excitement, frustration, anger, resentment, hope, relief, and happiness. Sometimes, I feel all of these emotions in just one hour....

I'm regretful that I'll be leaving the first company that I worked for in Montreal. But hard times come for hard measures...and business is business. In the same sense, I worry sometimes that if I had tried harder at x, or done better at Y, that this wouldn't be happening.

Then I think of the possibilities. A job that brings me joy. A job that makes me feel valued and appreciated. A job that challenges me in the right ways. I'm very self aware of what I need in a job and what I don't need in a job.

As I start to make my announcements, I'm met with very positive feedback and it's nice. It's nice to feel appreciated. It's nice not to feel like a total loser. I feel like I did a good job here, but it's time to move on.

I'm having some pretty quick progress on the job interview front. I'm dressed all chique today as I had a couple of meetings/interviews...and I'm feeling encouraged.

Most of all, I feel free. I wasn't ready to make a change yet - so I was pushed to make a change - and it's exciting.

It may not be exciting to have to dip into my very small savings account if I don't find a job right away, but I'm honestly looking forward to having some time off in Montreal, then fly to Edmonton for Christmas, then come back and continue to look for work if I don't have anything lined up after that.

I hope my outlook remains as positive as it has been since I "found out". As far as setbacks this year - it's officially my Chinese Astrological "Year of the Shit", but next year it's the "Year of the Monkey" and I'm a monkey, so that must count for something.

When I consider all that's going on around me - here and in the rest of the world, I count myself lucky. I'm healthy, I'm young, I have a good head on my shoulders (with perfect hair and makeup today, by the way), and I have a strong connection with family and friends - even if they are far away.

Oh - and I went through an "emergency" root canal with minimal crying (Ok, I caused a bit of a scene), and minimal pain (thank you pharmaceutical drugs).

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