Showing posts from January, 2016

The papers & gratitude

Everything that needs to be signed is signed, as of about 18h00 EST.I had some tears on the way there....but left knowing that this is truly the end of a book (more than a chapter) in my life. I'm going to bed....still the same conditions as yesterday. Sore throat, run down from being sick for FOUR weeks, but I have this amazing sense if gratitude towards every single person....that made the biggest or the smallest of gestures....that has helped me get through this. Thank you....for just letting me be who I am...and loving me along the way.

Last week & This week

Well I somehow survived a pretty difficult week.

First week of my new job.Being EXTREMELY sick.Signing my separation agreement.
The new job:
My new job is going to be really challenging but I love a challenge in that sense. Right now I have a lot of, Is this really me??? ,kind of moments as I enter one of the tallest buildings and take (the correct) elevator to the 30th or 32nd floor (I have made the mistake a few times on getting on the wrong elevator and feeling like a complete dolt..). I have my hair done, makeup on, and (attempted) cute/fashionable/downtown-looking outfit on (I think?) and I catch myself like...Wasn't it just like a few years ago where I was wearing flip flops, a breezy skirt, and a tank top to work? Walking (or in very beginning - trying to find a ride somehow...) to work on the dusty road, getting to work and washing my feet in the sink, checking in to the office as rest of the world was going to bed? old office used to be on an island off the east …

Ms. Pessimist

Tonight, I finally signed my separation agreement.While the relationship part of things was over long, long ago (I guess), this feels like the hardest part of the process. I felt weak after I left (more on that later), so I took a taxi home...thankfully the taxi driver got me talking...or else I think I would have quietly whimpered/cried the entire way home like I did until I got in the taxi.While my new job rocks (a lot)...I've been struggling with my health...which makes for long evenings...Once I hit the seat of the's donezo for me...I try to tidy up, get a little workout in, tend to the dog...but I find myself too tired to move. Next post I'll talk about what I'm doing to try to get rid of this damn sickness....but tonight...I barely have the energy to cry...but can't seem to get myself to stop tearing up...I can't help but feel hopeless.I think that I will build a very happy life for myself...that even on most days I have a happy life...but tonigh…

Morale money

Pardon me if my writing is a little "Frenglish"....when I go back and forth some days I can't quite pick a language.It is astonishing the size of impact that a change in environment can have on an individual. I knew in my heart by day two of my previous job that I wouldn't be a lifer there...but that I would make the best of it."The best of it" became too much for too long, had a direct impact on my productivity, confidence, and ultimately my happiness....but I had some other factors going on in the background....or the front ground, really...that didn't exactly help the situation.Today was my first day at my new job. I am treated with respect, dignity, and valued - just like every other employee working there. Look, I totally expect to get shit on at multiple points at my time's the nature of my job... But the company as a whole....well, I'm honestly in total shock and awe because these conditions are some that I haven't experie…

Le sick

One word description of 2016: sick.I spent New Year's Eve recovering from the 24 hour stomach flu....only to be hit a few days later with strep throat. I waited probably a day too long to get antibiotics and it's taking forever to come back to my normal self. I had a list of pre-new-job errands to do...which now have been cut down to the absolute minimum....since I spend 95% of the day recovering and resting. Tomorrow marks one week since I started on these antibiotics, so it's all normal...but frustrating none the less. Poor Maggie travelled verrrrryyyyyyy badly....she's not destined for air travel (but I think she would have been fine if she could have been let out of her cage) and she's still recovering....she's acting kind of sick...and she's going to the vet on Saturday to see what's up. Crossing my fingers that it's just a clueless owner and not something else. Poor dog is supposed to have her teeth cleaned since November but I'm paranoid …

A good read

Alberta is killing me slowly

My vacation has looked a lot like this:
 And this:

Last week I had the stomach so bad that I can't remember the last time I had stomach flu THIS bad....
I recovered...started to start making my social rounds, seeing people I haven't seen in start ANOTHER throat, ears, and body ache and I have a wicked fever....
I received a couple of comments that I've lost a few's because I haven't eaten in two weeks!!!!!! Alberta is killing me and I haven't spent enough time with the people that I've wanted to....but thankfully I have over a week before wirk to totally recover and get healthy again!!!!!!!