On the 6th Day


Today marks the 6th working day since my metaphorical “Subway Stress” began.

 

For the first five days, I took a taxi to work. A taxi is between $14 and 17....where as my bus...well, my bus pass costs me $80/month....and I have ONE bus to take to work that takes less than half an hour.

 
Most mornings since my Subway Stress (see last post), I nearly call in sick....and then I turn on CBC radio, hoping that my regular morning routine will kind of kick my brain into “Let’s get out of bed” mode. (Usually when the radio starts, I have a little yapping dog asking to get out of her cage (unless it’s really, really cold, in which case she wants to sleep in...like the rest of the Canada...).)

I repeated the mantra, “Just get to work. Just get to work. Just get to work.”
 

I told myself, that I was struggling, and that while I’m struggling, I’m going to take a taxi. I can’t change my thoughts overnight, I can’t magically be ok with something that I’m not, so if it takes me a taxi, then it takes me a taxi. This may be one of the first times that I’ve just admitted that I’m totally NOT ok and that I would be kind to myself and do whatever it took to do what I have to do.
 

Today, I decided that I would do something different. I would take the bus. I took the taxis when I needed to, but I’m feeling a bit more ok, so let’s take the bus. This morning I had the choice between two, and just when I thought I would miss the one that just happens to make me walk past a Starbucks to work, the bus driver saw that I was trying to catch him but was across the street, and he pulled over, even though there wasn’t a stop, and waited for the light to change and for me to cross the road. At Starbucks, the girl at the counter was extra friendly, and also wanting to know the brand/color of my lipstick. At work, a colleague brought in chocolatines (chocolate croissants....but better) from a wonderful bakery and wished us all a Happy St. Valentine’s Day.


At lunch, I went for a walk (even though it’s the coldest day of the year) with the Special Person...who gave me a little Valentine’s Day treat wrapped in a paper towel since we probably won’t see each other on Sunday. (I can’t wait to give him his little gift....that won’t be ready until Sunday, it’s my first real DIY project...I’ll post photos...and the story behind it <3).

 
Thank you world for these little things.


Tonight I was going to go to a bar after work for a 5 a 7....but instead, I think I’m going to walk out of the building, take the 427 bus, get the dog, dress us both up for the weather, take a quick little walk and enjoy the evening.

 

It’s been a long week. With many lessons. But it seems that I’m still ahead...

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