Homework

Well that was some short lived "lightness".

Recently Janae Jacobs from Hungry Runner Girl wrote a post about life as a single mom after divorce.

I can't relate to the mom part...but I can relate to the divorce part.

I received some homework from my shrink last week: pen & paper feelings/thoughts journal.

I've been feeling pent up stress and anxiety....which more often than not means unexpressed feelings.

It's been 2 days and I've filled 4 pages...but it's been an amazing visual to see what "stressed" actually means.

It means:

Missing the girls & worrying about them

Sadness and hurt about the divorce

Anger directed to my ex

Guilt for taking Maggie

Anger about certain aspects of my job (ok, just one thing....look back to my Subway Stress post)

Total rejection

Self-doubt

Worry for my future.

Well. All these feelings and thoughts are pretty normal....but NO WONDER my stress levels were in overdrive! I've been pushing these thoughts and feelings away because "they didn't serve a purpose". Since when I am concerned about practicality??!!

I'm still struggling with my anxiety and stress, but it's amazing to see how the mind can trap you, play tricks on you, and keep you from growing....because it thinks your heart can't handle the feelings.

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