The new place
Maggie & I are warming up in the car as I type.
I wanted to take a look at the area of my new place at different times throughout the week, since it's not one I'm totally familiar with.
I took some photos of the area, the building, the stairs that I'm sure I'll fall up or down many times.
I wanted to walk to the closest grocery store but also see what the people and storefronts looked like on the way there. Mixed reviews but I certainly felt safe. Maggie even met a golden retriever along the way.
Maggie was really frustrating me. She kept pulling on the leash (she's allowed lots of lead as long as she doesn't pull). I would tell her to stop, she'd assume the position (she knows if she pulls too much she has to sit and stay until I catch up and we walk with minimal lead for a few minutes). She kept pulling, but then kept doing her "punishment" non-stop.
I was furious! Also embarrassed.... because she's a dog...and my anger didn't fit the situation. I realized I was really, really pissed at my ex. I'm moving again - the 4th time in as many years and I'm doing it solo. (Although not really because my family is coming from Alberta to move me...but all the research and stuff....). I'm in Montreal because I came out here with him AGAIN and I'M just so angry!!! I was livid.... I replayed so many hurtful conversations....so distracted in my own mind....caught up in my thoughts...and then I heard some music.
A gospel choir was practicing. They had the window of a building open. I picked up the dog, stuck her in my jacket and we listened and watched until we were both freezing.
My grandparents went to a Baptist church that would have similar sounding beautiful music. And even better, was that one older lady in particular would "feel the lord" and start dancing up and down the aisles.
As a young child, I was petrified. Not only did I not understand it, but nearly every time she came near us, my grandpa would tease me and whisper into my ear that he was going to ask her to get me to "dance" with her too. I was mortified!!! I was so shy and half believed him!!!
Just before we left, a man saw that I was watching and shouted down, "Come up and sing with us!!!". Embarrassed again...I politely declined and kept on walking.
Then I burst into tears....I was just angry filled with upsetting memories....and then I was given the gift of a brief music show followed by a wonderful & funny memory with my grandpa. Who I miss so much.
As happy as I am for my new apartment...it's a next stage and a next stage means a bunch of mixed emotions.
But if I needed convincing....the choir practice did the job. ❤