I’m sure it’s come up a time or two that I haven’t met any “true” friends here. I’ve met some people that I hang around with….a friend that I keep in semi-regular contact here….but no one…really “solid”.
Add to the equation of 7 months of not working, an injury that kept me in crutches for 2 months, and some pretty low moments with my depression...
I hosted a brunch one day and met some super people I met, and I predicted that a natural friendship would take off, but work came up, I was sick, then stressed, then sick and stressed, and while they reached out, I kept forgetting to reach out back once I felt better (it’s still on my to-do list…)
I’m realizing that instead of searching for “true friends”, I need to meet more people and most importantly, I need to realize the people that I already have in my life.
Example: the dog walker. I met this guy while I was sweeping up leaves on my patio at my first solo apartment in Montreal. Maggie ran up to the other dog that he was walking, or else I may not have noticed him. He asked me if I was looking for a dog walker (I was) and then he gave me his flyer. We chat for a little bit…I was pretty standoff-ish… but he mentioned two other dogs that he walked in the neighbourhood. I didn’t think anything would come out of it….but that weekend I ran into the other dog’s owner and asked if she knew my dog walker and what she thought of him.
Of course, she gave him glowing reviews, because Mr. Dog Walker, is a dog lover and has invested…at least the last ten years, into taking care of dogs.
I called him the next day, we met, and talked about some rules…and I gave him the key to my apartment. How’s that for big city living?
That was July 2015. Two years ago.
Since then, we’ve developed a relationship, no, a friendship, which I never thought as something special, but it is extremely special, and he’s more a part of my life than I realized.
He’s respectful of my place (it’s probably cleaner after he leaves it). He love love love loves Maggie and I’ve called on him last minute more than once. He puts up with my hanging my dirty/clean laundry everywhere – I often feel bad for when I’m hanging my bras to dry for some reason. He doesn’t care.
He is also extremely reliable. I can text him or message him if there’s something going on, and he helps me out when he can. He sends me the most random and often funny pictures of Maggie.
When I was in a cast, he brought me things. When I was sick January 2016, he took on the job as house-cleaner for a bit. He leaves me ½ loaves of fantastic raisin bread (that I don’t eat anymore….but I work down the street from a bread factory, so it’s kind of our thing).
The other day, I couldn’t find my clothes iron. He moved it because I had left it on the edge of my bed – which is the perfect spot for me to leave it and Maggie drag the cord and have the iron fall on the floor (or more importantly, her).
He stays at my house when I’m travelling. I have never once felt unsafe.
On days that I’m sick or under the weather, he comes quietly to walk Maggie and respects my space. He’s asked me before if I was ok (I wasn’t…but if I felt like talking, I’m sure he would have listened).
When I messaged him last night, kind of in a panic, asking him if he could help me around the house for the next few weeks, because even though I’m feeling much better since getting a new doctor, I still don’t have the energy that I’d like to, and I haven’t done something “fun” on the weekend that doesn’t involve errands…..in months… He told me that he’d be happy to and we’d work something out to get help me feel back on my feet on the housekeeping department.
Maybe it’s not the typical “friendship”….but it’s still a friendship. And just maybe I need to change my perspective about finding “real” friends in this big city.