Hooker Tired in Amsterdam

*Written March 13th, 13h00*

Currently en route to Johannesburg via Amsterdam. Amsterdam was a rude reminder of some of the different stages that I can go through during long distance travel.

This morning I experienced “Hooker Tired”. Pardon the profanity….but, well, it’s simply self-explanatory. I will literally do anything to sleep in a bed and to have a shower. 


My flight to Minneapolis was so cold that my feet were numb upon arrival. 

My flight to Amsterdam was a little big better, but I forgot that my body temperature drops 5 or 10*C on a plane and I even though I was prepared with warm clothes (and had purchased a sweatshirt in the Minneapolis airport), again, I was simply too cold to sleep. No problem, I figured. I just have three hours and fifty minutes and then I’ll be only my plane and I’ll sleep in the warmth on my way to Joberg.

WRONG. Flight delayed at least another two hours. 

So Hooker Tired Nicole kicks. I started looking for affordable options. I need sleep. 

But at that point…if I had to sign up to serve in the local army for a year. Or donate to a local charity for the rest of my life. Or if it was a hostel and I would share the room with someone of the same sex. Fine. Just do it. Just get me a bed. Please. Now. And a shower. Please.

I find a hotel. For four hours, it would cost me 75 EURO. At this point, I figured that was about $100, which is only $25/hr, right? 

They had a room for me. It was the tiniest of things, but it’s comfortable, has a shower, and I was able to sleep for almost two hours. And then had a shower that made my soul sing. There is nothing better than a shower after being in an airplane. When I had lounge access and was flying from Edmonton to Madagascar, I would shower four times (Toronto, Frankfurt, Johannesburg, Antananarivo).

I still had some time to kill and my feet were aching. They are in pretty rough condition….since I walked for nearly two hours in the Minneapolis airport trying to replace some things that I had left in Edmonton. I saw and Express Spa and saw that a quick foot massage was only 15 EUR. That’s like $20, right? I was all in, and I think it helped me recover from my prior flights and prepare me for my upcoming flights. The massager guy knew what he was doing, I drank water the entire time, and just as he was finishing up, my flight was calling for pre-boarding. I apologized for not having euros and give him a $10 USD tip. BECAUSE I AM RICH????? Like what the hell?? And then I apologized on top of it? SORRY, it’s only American. So I only give you like a $15 CAD tip. When I went to pay, the total was 35 EUR. The massage was fifteen MINUTES, not FIFTEEN EUROS. So I have a transfer to make when I get wifi next because in my mind I spent about $140CAD, but I’m pretty sure it’s more like $200. 

Guess what I’m doing when I land in Johannesburg? Waiting until I have wifi, and then downloading a currency converter. (Done!) Which I will use for every single transaction because I am currency converter challenged and I have made these mistakes about forty times. 


However, the good news is, even with the sleep deprivation…I am feeling much lighter, much happier, excited even. I haven’t had these emotions in some time. I finally am starting to feel like I made the right choice….and that….this trip, right now, is what I need. 

Comments