I’m worried I’m not going to make it through the final trip. I have heat rash on my feet, I find it nearly impossible to sleep in the ground, and I’m older than all of the travellers (which I knew going into the trip).
I feel old, in pain (hip), and just ugly. I’m too hot, I can’t get hydrated enough. I felt so well at Victoria falls...and after this “booze cruise”, where I don’t drink...I just feel like the ugly girl on the side. I don’t need alcohol to have fun, but tonight I just couldn’t mingle as I wanted to.
And I have to stop worrying about what people back home think of me, this trip, or my life. I worry so much about what the people I love think....I need to stop. Either they support me or they don’t. And if they don’t, then that’s sad, but out of my control. I need sleep. Water. & a little reprieve from the heat. Oh, and confidence. I need a big handful of that.