There are some days, where I feel like I see the sun more often than others. I haven't yet gone "out" with a group of friends, but I'm doing that this Saturday. It's amazing how that can feel scary and exciting at the same time. The smallest of things can make me feel anxious now...like I'm a shy person that I never was before, like I need to rely on people that I didn't need to before, but I guess that's how things go.
I had a doctor's appointment yesterday (Yes for the Alberta medical system!!), and she said, Grief isn't about getting over something or someone, it's accepting your new reality. Which is very true. While my new reality isn't necessarily living in my cousin's basement, it's living without the dream that I thought that I had, it's living in Alberta, in the condo that I had bought before Madagascar (in a couple of months when it's ready), it's making my life here again, where a lot is familiar.
I pray that my little puppy gets the clearance to fly when I go back to Montreal and pack the last pieces up. She acts young but she's not a young dog. I'll need her company, and she's doing awesome, but I remember now that she's quite used to me being gone because I used to travel for work. That little dog... I fell in love with her in the beginning, but when I asked (or maybe told???) my ex-husband that I was taking her in the divorce, I didn't realize how much care she would need. I thought because she was little that she would kind of be like a cat. I learned so much about taking care of a dog (even a little one), and, because of the area that I lived in, we walked everywhere, she was thrilled to walk everywhere, and she had her own little reusable grocery bag that she would use when she was tired of walking. I even later learned to throw an ice pack in there because she would get too hot, no matter how much water she would drink. Me and my bud, taking on the world.
Ok, I'm procrastinating.
I have physio and it's painful but finally after more than a year it's working, so that's all that matters.
Lots to do...because I'm leaving for Africa in a matter of 12 days. Things sure do move fast.