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Showing posts from October, 2019

I hope.

Well. Wasn’t I having a day on Sunday?! It’s hard sometimes not to plan for the future…when the future is so uncertain. It’s also easy for me to start to spiral into my circle of negativity. Let’s face it, this hasn’t been the best year of my life…but has it been the worst? Nope. It’s been a fight, but it’s also given me perspective. Unfortunately, I don’t always have a positive perspective. It’s hard to see what I have in front of me sometimes. The reality is, I have a lot more than most. The reality also is that Alberta is hit hard economically. Retailers, restaurants, and all kinds of companies are closing down and more and more people are without a job.
I think I thought that that it was somehow my fault that I didn’t have a job…like taking time off to study or not working in so long had ruined me in some way. No, it hadn’t. There are no jobs in my field right now. I’m working a temp job that doesn’t pay half of my regular salary, has no benefits, and has an extra-long commute, bu…

In one year.

Well, it was a great idea for me to try and start a serious on compassion and start to better myself...but life happened. Life has been happening the entire time...life hasn't been an easy go...but I had to get myself ready for a big change, and doing self-indulgent things like taking time to write or anything relating to self-care went out right out the window.

And they have to come back this weekend - or else I'll never make it.

I could go back and read how much I've shared about experiences with mental health and depression on the blog, but I don't feel like it. I have a bit of time to write, so I'm just going to take the time to write, and see what comes out of it. For many, many years, I've had depression. The thing is, my depression, when not well managed, presents itself as anxiety. It went misdiagnosed as Generalized Anxiety Disorder because of that fact until 2014 when I uprooted my life to be with my then husband in Montreal, and shit hit the fan, and…