Just NB

Yesterday was not a good day for me. Obviously jet lag is a major factor on my mood, but I couldn't stop focusing on everything that I was missing. Plus, I had been waiting for a phone call for a bit to find out if there were any options within the company. I'll elaborate on that more possibly, but to keep to the point, the answer is NO. This was always a possibility, so it's not a huge shock. Anyway, one of the things I was focusing on was my life here. I feel like I want to cram in every single thing that I can before I go. Everything that I used to do and once loved (going out dancing, going to Mahumbo, etc). I wanted to make sure that I get it all in. I've changed my mind. Sure, I'll have a night out, and most likely some kind of going away get together, but I want to just spend the rest of my time here like I would any other day. I want to quit focusing that I won't see Louis for three months and that we won't be able to make it through this challeng...

After a bunch of plane drama (but not that bad on the grand scheme of things), I'm back here. I'm trying to change the comment format of my blog because I'm getting tons of crap spam....so email me if there are any troubles.

My head is a little messy right now, so I'll keep things light. Maggie, my step-dog , and I both got our hair cut on the same day while I was in Quebec. I thought I'd post a Before and After: I personally like Maggie's before shot better....but...she was starting to carry a certain smell with her. Plus I think she'd start to run into walls and stuff because she can't see. My before and after is like the typical beauty product add. For the beauty products, the before, they're looking all ugly, no makeup and no smile. And the after, they're all made up, smiling, with a different posture. So here's my real before and after: Yeah, I'm sexy and I know it. For Maggie's before and after....I felt this picture was more suiting.... Like, I totally think like they are brother and sister.

I'm pretty sure it's evident to most, blog readers or not, that I've been just a bit of a basket case lately. (Or, I'm always a bit of a basket case, but now I'm even more so). While there are so many avenues to pursue for jobs, I'm not going to have one for an undisclosed amount of time. While this IS a blessing it IS a reason to freak out. No, I won't go poor. Yes, I'll find things to do, but it's a major life change that's happening when I'm already kinda stressed so it's just not going that well for me. I have good days and bad days. OK, I have a lot of bad days. Everyone is just telling me to enjoy it. I would love to. My life would be so simple if I could just enjoy it. I'm struggling. Part of me wants to go back to Madagascar and them ask me to stay and work on some kind of project, the other part of me thinks that I need a break from Madagascar. That I need a break from life. And while not everyone is fortunate enough t...

Earlier in the week, Louis told me that Laurie (eldest daughter) got into a super hard post-secondary (in Quebec you go to school for 2 years before University). I was like, "That's cool, but we knew she would get in anyways". She's like crazy smart and gets super high marks, and it was basically a given.   A few hours later, I had a lightbulb moment, and was like, WTF? YEAH we knew she would get in, but it doesn't mean the accomplishment is any less!! I sort of apologized to Louis and then said, "We should get a cake or something!"   Insert a bit of arguing if the cake would be homemade or purchases (I wanted to make it....then agreed I didn't have enough time), and a trip to the dollar store and I was set to throw a "Yay, Laurie!" Party.   She came home from school and saw this:     I had bought everything we needed for a cheese fondu supper, and the girls and Louis made it all! I didn't even do the dishes!...

From yesterday's post....I hope those reading know that I do realize how fortunate I am. But...just sometimes, or a lot of the time, I struggle. The girls ARE wonderful. But different from what I know. We all have to grow and adapt. Tonight I have them on my own, and I look forward to it like I did the last time Louis had to go to Quebec City. (And we are a a family. Just not a FIAC, and just not what I had expected it to be.) In other news, this is why Canada rocks. We're expected to get 25-30 centimeters of snow. Fun times. In other news, in my...upsettings the other day, I scratched my rental car...I don't even want to have to think about it.

I've been pretty quiet on the blog front these days. Partially because I'm a jet lag spazz (although I think that's finally passed), partially because my mom is here on holiday, and partially because I have no words that can begin to describe what I'm thinking or experiencing. First, let's just make it clear from the beginning that Louis' girls are probably the best teenagers that I've met. They are thoughtful, caring, funny, super smart, and they love their dad sooooo much. Enter me. I love that they are in my life and I can't imagine it any differently. The girls make up a part of who Louis is, and I knew (and loved) that going into this relationship. But in my little drunken, high, rose-coloured glasses world, I thought we were like this perfect little blended family. Now that I'm thinking about the next few months and how I'll be returning "home" for x months, I realize that a big part of what I'm used to in Quebec, won...

My sarcastic health post left off after lunch on travel of my 2nd day. Or my 1st day? My brain is confused.   On the way to the plane....we stopped at Haagen Dazs. I had been wanting a milkshake every single time we see a HD but in SA they never have milk for some stupid reason. What didn't get mention in the last post, is that I prefer to eat my lunches/suppers before I board. The meals on the plane are great, but they are heavy and multiple courses (along with multiple waiting times). I don't know if I'll be tired or awake or what, so I eat in the lounge and bring along snacks. Snack stolen from the lounge: Nutella and a banana, and then 1/2 a coke when the beverage service started. I was totally content. But they I had a sip of Louis' Baileys and coffee. And I was FREEZING. So I ordered one. And then, they pass out this basket of crap and you can take whatever you want!! A normal (Weight Watchers) person would have picked one....but I went all hells be...

Louis and I will be meeting up with a friend this rotation that we haven't seen in a long time. While gifts aren't necessary, it's kind of nice, and I know he likes wines and fois gras so I thought I'd take a look at the Frankfurt airport to find something German to bring back for him. Between my zombie-like-state (which I don't understand because there's a one hour time difference and I'm sure I got sixish hours of sleep at least last night), and picking up a bottle of wine that's 205 EUR and then the next bottle is 12 EUR, I was confused. I see this big VSOP Cognac display and I go over to take a look. Well, just my luck! Our friend has a collection of colognes, and wouldn't it be a neat idea to buy him a cologne made by this fancy cognac company!! I walk over and smell the first bottle...and it doesn't smell very nice. I can't imagine someone wanting to wear that. Then, a friendly cognac representative comes over and says, "Do ...

{I've read so many magazine articles on how to eat healthy while you're travelling. I understand the concept. However, after being fed a limited selection of (not always good) food for six weeks...sometimes things get a little crazy on the way back to Canada. Food is exciting. I certainly don't track my Weight Watcher Points...}   So welcome to my Stay Slim Secrets Post!! You too can feel better and feel the inches melting away while travelling by following this simple regime!   The program includes great ideas of meals and snacks, and you won't have to calorie count!!!   Sample Lunch: 2 200mL cans of full fat Ginger ale with ice Cube/Stick of Cheese with 3 crackers Cake Roasted veggies Seed bun and butter 2 chocolates Meat option   (I ate mine already, I think it was the equivalent of "nuggets", but cut up in a "Business Class" kind of way). Pasta salad   (I can't eat it. It's gross)   Snack: An ice cream bar and a...

Happy to get to Joberg. Happy to leave Joberg and get on that flight to Frankfurt. I've been taking pictures of everything I eat while I'm travelling. It's quite impressive. There's a reason why I don't do a Weekly Weigh in the first week I'm back. It's kind of fun (and sometimes gross) to see all the junk (or high calorie meals) that we eat while travelling. Thankfully it's "only" 30 hours....

Because I'm me, I'm crying as I type this. Because I'm me, somehow, for some reason that I don't know, I took my passport out of the place where I NEVER, EVER, EVER (Hi, TS!) take it out. Ok, now I'm not crying. It's nearly 19h00. I just came from a mad dash from my house, in constant prayer, that for some odd reason, my passport was in my office. I couldn't find it. I called Louis. Trying to figure out what to do. Trying to....I don't even know. I've been seriously struggling since Thursday. On top of...I don't know, nerves, anxiety, or whatever, I've had the "Madagascar stomach". I started Cypro yesterday and am starting to feel better, but because of anxiety, nerves, whatever, Madagascar stomach, I haven't been able to eat. Yeah. I need to get out of here. I was planning on going home, lying in my bed, and freaking out until I fell asleep (or something equally as logical). By accident, I knocked over a bunch...

Here are two not so lovely pictures of myself, but I like the general concept. After 140 days, I have managed to lose.......15.6lbs. Four and a half months. Has it been hard? Not really. But I also have been losing at a super, super slow rate. And, I eat junk from time to time. Perhaps too much. Even though I don't see a different in my body (I didn't take before/after pictures), my clothes fit better or are too big and I just feel better. Less like I'm going to explode out of my skin. . End goal? I don't know. For health reasons, another 14.4 (Let's just call this "Goal Weight A"), for pure vanity (well, and a bit of health) 24.4lbs (Goal Weight B"). I remember when I was weighed Goal Weight B and I worked my freaking ass off and I just couldn't get under that number without being too restrictive. I want to live like a normal life, not always be consumed by calories, blah blah, running, blah blah. When I was at Goal Weight A, I had (an ext...

First, here's the view from my NEW ROOM. It's pretty bleak, but I feel SO MUCH safter (I'm less isolated and have three locking doors as opposed to one), and I'm out of the House of Horrors . I have English TV (although it was raining/cloudy last night so the satelitte was down), but Louis sent me my laptop, so I could watch an episode of a TV show I downloaded before I passed out. No internet in my room, but it works in the common areas if I'm truly desperate. Anyway - at the mine, it's completely unfamiliar to me. I don't really know anyone, I don't know anything about anything, and then there's the new sleeping arrangements. But here's the thing. While I was shy the part of the first day and asked my first interviewee if he would go for lunch with me...my shyness ended there. Or at least, I faced it. Monday, after work, I went home and relaxed (um...played Bejeweled on my iPhone), then I went for supper when I wanted to. I brought m...

Ohhhhhhhhhhh my. I may have possibly had my worst night in Madagascar. First, I'm staying in a French room. I didn't realize that there were French rooms and English rooms. I didn't bring my laptop because I thought I'd just chill and watch TV. I have satellite and like a gazillion channels....ALLLLLL in French. Yes, I deal mainly in French. But...at the end of the day, I want to watch TV in English. Instead of movies filmed in English, then translated to French. AND, I don't have internet access in my room. A week with no TV or internet and I didn't bring ANY books. OH! And my work computer screen is broken so I can't see anything unless it's plugged into a monitor. Urgh. Second, until I was....um....well...maybe 30? I had a night light. I have always been scared of the dark and my mind has ALWAYS played freaky tricks on my at bed time. There are still nights where I wake up from a dream, unsure of what's going on, and I'll turn on every l...

My first few hours here...and it doesn't look that bad? Here's the charter plane that was able to land at the mine. It's pretty often that it can't because of storms/winds/etc. I was last here November or December 2009 and I DID NOT LIKE IT AT ALL. But it's changed so much. Everything is like...organised. Ok, maybe not organised....but Malagasy organised. First, there are actual ROADS. Like PAVED roads. And then, the red dirt. Ahhhhhh red dirt. I will return covered in a red dirt dust that will take forever and a day to disappear. My safety shoes are STILL covered in red dirt from 2009.  Everything is pretty much red. But on the way, there's some beautiful scenery.  And then back to red. So far things are going okay for me here. Maybe I needed to get away for a bit and have the structure of a real start-to-finish audit. Yep, I'm a weirdo. I need an audit to feel better. But I love the structure of the process, the thinking of what can...

Pretty creative title, hey?! Last week has been exhausting. The ups and downs of...accepting this Next Adventure...wore me out. On the plus side, I'm going to the mine site tomorrow to start a new project. I'll be there all week. It will be a nice distraction. On the down side, I'm going to the mine site tomorrow to start a new project. I'll be there all week. Solo. Sure there are some people I know, but who knows if I'll be in a socializing kind of mood. On top of it, I'm sick. My body caved in to the abuse I've been putting it through worrying, and I have a cold. It's nothing crazy like whatever flu virus was going around Canada last year, but, maybe it will make me tired enough not to worry. Although it's not so much the worrying that's getting to me now. It's the fear of the unknown. Which I really have to get a handle on....because I won't make it otherwise. We basically spent all day in bed watching movies, which I think will ...

I haven't been telling everyone at work that I'm leaving. But I'm starting to tell more and more people and more and more people are finding out. Today, Moose Be came into my office. He wanted to know when I'd be leaving and when I'd be back. And, if I should ship him a moose via sea freight. We got out my map...and figured out that it would die...somewhere on the 30 longitude line. Or is it latitude? I nearly failed every Geography class because I just couldn't remember the difference between the two! Over three years ago I met Moose Be. His desk was right outside of my office. He was so shy and so scared (read this when he started to....stand up to me ), and I've seen him grow as a person. He's funny, has a very kind heart, and he's pretty talented too. In this role I don't see him every day...and I kind of miss it. When he left my office, I didn't....well...cry. Of course I felt sad (but I'll see him many times before I lea...