Just NB

I would have never imagined that I would be so open with my mental health journey. For most of my life, it was a secret that I dare not tell anyone. Then, when I came back from Madagascar and was trying to adapt to all things new but weren't...I had to open up to my family and friends because I couldn't hide it anymore and I was going through hell trying to find ANY appropriate medical treatment. Depression, anxiety, ADHD, it's all very frustrating. It's frustrating because YOUR MIND is sending you the wrong messages. Medication is an option, but the most effective treatment is some type of cognitive therapy so that you can recognize when your mind is sending you the wrong messages. But it's a life-long learning process. As your circumstances change, you need to adapt your self-care and routines. What's also very frustrating is the stigma surrounding mental health. It is not a mental disability, it should be treated as a physical disability. If I had epilepsy - ...

 I really don't think I'm doing okay lately. But I have to remind myself....is anyone doing ok? I think I handled my move and unemployment relatively well. Add in the quarantine and waiting for this damn job interview, a medication change, and 2+ months of not sleeping great....should I be doing great? I've been pushing myself hard to attend as many hot yoga classes as I can...but maybe that's not helping with my energy levels? It's hard...and I'm all in as my pass expires at the end of this month...but maybe it's wearing me out too much. Some days walking the dog is tough. Some days leaving the house is tough. I recently read something that said, "For people with depression, it's all consuming and there are no small victories". I think that's true and I have to start recognizing that it's a victory getting out of bed. It's a victory when I have a shower. It's a victory when I walk the dog. It's a victory when I get enough f...

I don't write often because I feel like I have nothing to write...but I should be writing every day. I don't often realize how debilitating depression/anxiety/ADHD can be until they're all holding hands together in a circle, merrily singing, "Ring around the Rosie".... It feels like everything has been so incredibly intense lately. Medication changes, behavioral changes, progress in...trying to maintain a healthy mind and body... These are all steps of growth, but they feel nightmarish at times. The good days are more often, but it sometimes means that the bad days feel all the more difficult. Before, a good day would happen occasionally...so I was used to the bad days. Now, there are (usually) more good days that I've begun to see the bad days as failures. Which certainly doesn't help my healing process.  I realize (with the help of a dear friend), that all this time, I've been taking life as an exam. There are things that I do that are RIGHT and ther...