Just NB

Sometimes I just feel like I might be ready....to really go for it. To really date. To really let my walls and nets down and just fall completely. It's obvious for some time that I care about someone. Love them in fact. And then we have a misunderstanding. Or, what most functional couples call: a fight. And then I retreat. I'm hurt, wounded, defensive, waiting for the ground to collapse and swallow me. I cry, I have too many feelings, I have not enough feelings. I'm overwhelmed with the process of talking about what caused the fight....I'm drained thinking about it. I might have found the most kind, most caring, most thoughtful person - but we'll never see eye-to-eye 100% of the time. And while he can communicate....and I can sometimes....I can't always. I might have looked into the future with this one. Which seems odd since I'm: a) legally married b) not willing to give up my weekends (of which I spend mostly alone because I have yet to make true...

I kind of cringe about my abundant dog love because I kind of think it puts me one step closer to the “spinster” category. You know the stereotype: divorced, late thirties, no real prospects ahead. Sure, I’m dating someone I care a lot about, but my heart is far from jumping in for Marriage Round II (if ever) and kids just aren’t in the equation right now. But, there’s some kind of medical stuff that maybe I could have kids before I die, or I could adopt, or maybe I should start worrying about the future and write about this weekend’s invention that I should patent.   Maggie has come with me pretty everywhere for A LONG time. It was the best way to socialize her and well, to be totally honest; she really gets sick of me. She loves seeing other people, dogs, and of course, her favorite – squirrels and cats. Paris Hilton has her fancy purses to carry her dogs – I have a reusable grocery bag that works just perfectly. It was in the +30*C again this weekend, so I brought ...

Last weekend didn’t turn out as scheduled. I spent a lot of Sunday walking around and running errands on foot with the dog. For me, it seems like a waste to go walking and not bring the dog, so I packed up a water bottle and a dish along with this reusable shopping bag that I can throw her in when we go into stores and off we went.   Of course, no walk is complete with a visit to the park to chase squirrels.   We were probably out for a total of three or four hours…and Maggie has her winter coat because…well, it was winter until last week.   We would stop every so often and I’d give her a long drink of water, I’d dump some water on her, and off we’d go. Monday – lethargic Maggie. Fine with me. Tuesday – sick Maggie. Not cool. Wednesday – perking up, but not her usual self…   Thankfully, Thursday was her annual vet check up (did you guys all know that dogs need to go once a year? I thought you only took them if they got si...

Thank you…for meeting me in Starbucks today. I was behind a big, tall guy who was probably about 75 years old, not looking a day over 65, just like you. He was there with his wife, tall like him with silver hair. They were pretty cool grandparents ordering at Starbucks. Well, an iced tea and a coffee anyway. I don’t know many people that order a hot coffee when it’s +29*C, but you did. He made some friendly chit chat with me at the creamer station, and then as I accidentally bumped him with my purse, he apologized along with me, and then winked at me and told me I must have done it on purpose. He smiled and held the door for me and wished me a nice day. Just like you would have, if you would have found yourself wanting a coffee in the afternoon, except you would most likely have McDonalds coffee, not Starbucks and certainly not Tim Hortons. It’s nice to finally, finally feel a bit more at piece and feel grateful for these moments that remind me of you. ...

Finally, FINALLY a post where I'm travelling. It's a long weekend here and I've been pretty anti-social....so I decided to visit the girl that used to be my first neighbor in Madagascar. She JUST moved to Ottawa and I needed something out of the regular....so tomorrow Maggie and I are off to our nation's capital for the weekend!!! Road trip!!!!   My own pics to follow. Wish me luck...it's my first real social outing in a very long time.