Just NB

I rarely get comments on my blog. I check Google Analytics and see that I have a few readers still lurking...why I'm not too sure, but that's another subject. Last week I got a comment that made me..a little annoyed. "Single people, young women in particular, usually have a circle of friends (real friends, not virtual friends) that make their lives more joyous. Also, a companionship, rather than a relationship with another person, creates a reliable partner to help out when needed, e.g., winter tires, repairs, etc. of which you can return the favor with things like lunches, dog-sitting, car rides, etc. (things of a non-sexual nature).  Follow your heart, dear." First off...single people usually have a circle of non virtual friends? Ha! I'll admit, I am lucky enough to have a circle of amazing friends. They live in various parts of the country. Not within driving distance. Since moving here, I've made a few friends through work & over the winter I pla...

It is entirely possible, that I may just have survived another disaster. As you saw yesterday, my house is in complete disarray…. Pretty much in line with my state of mind….but I got through it, and I got through it, mainly, alone. It wasn’t my method of choice, but I still managed to get through it. While going through heated divorce talks and having the big boss in town and not knowing my future job status until he left. (There’s no guarantee now but things are looking better). I’m trying to manage my stress the best that I can, but it’s a challenge. I certainly have some nice, big, black bags under my eyes that I hope to address this weekend….except this weekend is the time change and a Halloween party….so we shall see. I’m not sure how single people do it. The house, the…day-to-day tasks… Even when my ex was out of town I felt like I had help taking care of things. I’m finding it hard to adjust to single life. I have to take care of everything and I don’t always do a good ...

One week later, this is how my house looks. It's an evolving improvement....hard to believe. My bedroom is bare save from my bed (sprayed with the peroxide solution many times), my bed frame, a sheet, a sleeping bag (that was tucked away in storage and barely smells), a toy that Maggie cuddles to go to sleep (for some reason she wants to sleep with me...I doubt this will last very long...she prefers her cage), a couch cushion, and a towel for me to cuddle...because...I need something to cuddle. The laundry is progressing...but slowly because often a wash requires repeating multiple times to get out the strong scent. I was going to go to a laundromat...but with work and my lower energy level...I haven't. I'm constantly trying to make it look like an organized mess...but am failing. By the weekend, I will have some major progress achieved. I am so thankful for my neighbors, who found a YouTube video on how to get the skunk unstuck. I am so thankful for the little dog. I ...

I don't know what I'd do without this little devil....

Well, no photos yet, but Skunkgate 2015 is under control. The window well still smells very badly, but I continue to wash it with peroxide, Dawn, and baking soda. For some reason I had the bright idea to add two drops of peppermint oil, and this has done wonders. But, my web friends, this whole thing has made me very overwhelmed, and very lonely. I wish I had…a husband to help…a partner around…to help me take care of things. I think I’ve done a really good job adjusting to the single life, to living alone, to moving to a new area, but…this weekend, I was by myself the entire weekend – NOT by choice, and it stung. A lot. A friend came by on Sunday for some moral support, thankfully….but I can’t help but think that if I was in alberta, I’d have a group of people helping me out. My job is unstable; it’s a contractor (and not permanent) position – meaning no benefits, etc; I have friends but they are new and….not like the old; and I’m massively homesick. But…I don’t feel ready...

Somehow, I have managed to only shed…maybe 32 tears in the last 48 hours. Wednesday evening, I went to bed and went to close my bedroom window. My bedroom is ground level. I was greeted by a cute little skunk, who, earlier had been making some weird noises that sounded like someone was trying to get in. What I know now, after two extraordinary long days, is that he was stuck in my window well, he cannot see very well (as with all skunks), and he was trying to get out. Now – here’s the part I haven’t shared with the Facebook world – when I saw him, I thought that the easiest thing to get rid of him and make him go away would be to make the environment very uncomfortable, so I went and got a bucket of water and threw it out of the window through the screen. This, was the stupidest thing that I have done in a very, very long time, and, I haven’t told a single person (which is why it makes sense to tell you all now). Because after I threw the water, I was met with the most i...

I'm too exhausted to fill in the details right now. Enjoy the suspense. And please send me your homemade recipes on how to kill a skunk.

Today has been a hard day....tears before I arrived at work...A habitual Googler...I came across this article: Certain things need an expiration date. Milk, eggs, mayonnaise, meat, fish… there is a time we need to be done with them, and throw them away… I get all that. But does grief have an expiration date? For some reason, there seems to be an acceptable shelf life—6-12 months—and then grief should be off the shelf, out of the home and permanently removed with the weekly trash service.  If it was only that simple… The “grief expiration date” myth must come from people who have never experienced a close death – otherwise they would know the truth. Everyone fears facing such a loss. They are hopeful that should death touch their world, it will only take 6-12 months to recover. No one wants someone they love to die. So, until faced with the reality, it’s easier to think ‘this won’t happen to me, AND if it does it will only be bad for a finite, short amount of time and the...

Today if one Googled "Finance" and "Party" it would most likely result in 90238402193480239480293402398 items about last night's financial election....except I'm talking about the Finance Party that I've been having these last few months.  Moving, divorce, lawyer, vacation, family emergency, time off work....my books are a mess.   I have to re-learn to budget. Minimal savings, small amount of credit card debt (that seems ENORMOUS to me), and locked into a lease that...well, that I can't really afford.  So, with my little debt, my passion for takeout coffee, my habit of buying impractical clothing online & then returning 90% of it (free shipping but ties up funds none the less), my desire to build my Rainy Day fund, learn more about my investment account funds that I don't currently even see as "mine" and couldn't tell you what the annual rate of return was, an investment condo in Edmonton that will require impro...

For today....I have a job. It's still....a little uncertain.... My future is up in the air, for sure, but I can just keep going along....one step at a time.

Well, well, well. I've spent the last 72 hours in a foggy state. A cross between depressed, frustrated, and tired, with the occasional moment of anger thrown in. Friday midmorning I found out, in a rather backwards way, that my fate at my current job is very up in the air and that on Tuesday morning, around 9am, I'll find out if I lose my job. I've been feeling pretty insecure there lately...missing a few weeks and taking time of to deal with death & divorce stuff certainly didn't help the situation. While I'm hoping for good news on Tuesday, I'm trying (and failing) not to eat my weight in chocolate and ice cream...I'm trying to keep my spirits up...but it's a long weekend, I'm stressed, and I'm all alone. My best Montreal friend now has a boyfriend that takes up 99.9% of her time on the weekends (most weekends I can't even get ahold of her), and I've kind of been a loser and not going for drinks lately...I really haven't fel...

There are a million quotes that I love. Today’s quote:   Comparison is the thief of joy. A friend came over this week to workout with me and I realized just how messy my place is. Whenever I’ve moved somewhere new, I’ve had my parents or Alberta family help me ( that are a team of professional movers – knowing all the tricks, getting everything done, cleaned, and put away. The day/weekend is exhausting, but it’s all done. The finishing touches come with time, but the big stuff is done. July – I did the big move. Since then, I’ve had movers come and drop off SOME of my stuff that’s in storage….meanwhile I’ve been on a cleaning/organizing rampage, somehow trying to make my landlord’s things and my things fit into a Montreal-sized place – when my furniture itself is sized for a big, huge, Albertan-sized place. My house is NEVER totally clean. I don’t have my own things – some are mine, some are my landlord’s...and I’m always feeling like I live in a mess. Even when my place is ...

It's been awhile since I've written anything...and honestly, I think it's time to retire the blog. I don't have time to blog at work (which I shouldn't anyway), and I don't have a fully functioning computer at home...and I don't have much to say these days. Divorce is tough. If miscommunication happen in any healthy marriage - they happen 19000000000 times more frequently during divorce. I was hoping to have some kind of Disney/Pixel movie divorce: Cinderella: I'd have fairy godmothers' as lawyers working to resolve the hard stuff Mary Poppins: "Spoonful of sugar" would be sang as we worked out the details with our fairy godmothers Marley and Me: tears over lost love, lots and lots of tears, but lots of love and support around me Chipmunks, the movie: Well, I'll just throw that in there for some cheap comedic relief and funny-sounding songs (side note: whenever this is on TV, Maggie is very intrigued and is trying to figure out W...