Just NB

I'm looking out the window and everything seems like it should be fine. It's a nice, sunny day...but my brain and body are tired and worn down. Looking back at the posts when I first moved to Madagascar, it seems like I have some of the same patterns. They resemble something similar to that of a volatile stock chart: Some weeks are perfect, flying by, getting tons accomplished, and then there are some weeks where I feel like it's difficult to do anything... My house feels messy no matter how often I'm picking up after myself, I'm breaking off plans, and I just can't seem to feel the real me. But since I'm me...I guess this is the real me.  When I look back on my year-to-date...so much has happened: January: Life changing, heart-crushing, devastating heartbreak. I've survived heartbreak before, but this was...well this was earth shattering. Not only was it heartbreak, my whole life changed. Everything that I thought was real wasn't and up a...

Life has been busier than I can keep up with these days lately. I'm not complaining AT ALL, I'm just struggling to fit everything in. My once effective list making technique isn't working so well...instead there are random pieces of paper around the house that I'm trying to keep up with. No, still no job, BUT, I'm finally get out of the house for things that don't revolve around the condo, errands, and the the adulting and 'To-Do" lists. I'm getting out and having fun, which is great because, although I haven't had a life filled just with tears since moving here...I haven't had that kind of fun where I actually LOL. Last weekend I met with a random crew ranging from...well, I don't know how to describe it but sort of stick-up-her-ass (in a less judgmental way) ranging all the way to the hippy type taking acid and mushrooms. Side note: I had no idea acid actually existed anymore...in my mind it went out in the 70s and now the Alberta ...

There were a few weeks that I should have taken the time to write about my online dating experiences. Perhaps...if I was truly ready to move on, if my heart was truly healed and I was ready to settle down (I'm not sure this is a feeling that ever happens...I think...from past experience, one just ends up meeting the right person...and at this point, I'm not feeling all that hopeful), I would find this truly frustrating. But for now, it can be, well, frustrating, but in the most hilarious sense. A few weeks ago, I met up with John. Yes, this is a fake name. There was something missing during our date...and...his hello and goodbye lacked a lot of enthusiasm. So, I texted him later that night that it was nice meeting him, but that based on his body language, I got the feeling that I wasn't his type, and we didn't have to dance around the issue. Oh, but no! Quite the opposite, he told me. He found me easy to talk to, beautiful, smart, etc, etc, etc. His mom and sister wer...