Sahara

Today we are going to chillax around the pool, and then around 4pm, we take a 4x4 into the Sahara desert and then we need to take a camel to get to the last part of our destination. We'll be sleeping in tents. I think this is awesome. We'll spend the night and then come back here to Ermoud (I don't know if I'm spelling that right), and then head onto Marrakesh.

So. I've debated and thought about this next part for far too long, and I feel like it's kind of hanging over me.

So, currently, Louis is in Canada on vacation. Currently, I am in Morocco on vacation, with very close friends. Y'all can figure it out I'm sure. It's a very tough situation to deal with, for both of us. It's pointless to go into any explanation as to what happened, why did it happen, blah blah blah, because, in my opinion, no one has a true idea of what a marriage is like except for the two people involved. I'm devastated and shaken from this event, and I'm focusing on doing what is best for me right now.

It's human nature for everyone to have reactions and questions, and selfishly, I won't be writing about any of that. It wasn't the distance. It wasn't the expat lifestyle. It just wasn't.

I'll live somewhere, someday. I'll find a job somewhere, someday. I'll be more at peace someday. For today, I'm in Morocco, travelling. I'll travel some more. I'll laugh, I'll cry, I'll deal with this in my own way. I am doing ok as can be, because I am really, really focusing on myself. So if I'm late on the emails, or maybe don't respond at all, that's why.

I can't thank everyone enough for the support that I've received - my family and friends and acquaintances have been so incredibly and wonderfully kind...I feel incredibly blessed to know so many wonderful people.

So yeah. Things suck right now. But things are also amazing, because I'm at a point in my life where I can take time for myself, travel with amazing people, and really just take one day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time.

When I write posts that I'm having a great time, it's not fake. I am having a great time. Yes, some moments are drastically harder than others, but it's all part of the process and I have many, many moments where I feel joy, hope, and lots of moments where I feel loved.

So tonight, like I just wrote, I'm riding off into the desert. I can't even imagine what that's going to be like!!! 

We are seriously isolated right now. The tap water comes out hot before it will get cool, the only fruit we have available is fresh (barely ripe) dates and tomatoes, and last night the wine was even hot. The hotel is quaint and I'm very impressed that they've been able to build something to beautiful in such a desolate area! And right now, I'm going to go sit at the pool!!