If anyone ever tells me that everything happens for a reason & the tough times make us stronger, I’ll punch them in the face. 

We hear all of the glitz & glam of crazy successful influencers, movie stars, ultra elite people that used their pain to help them grow….& I think it’s a load of bullshit. I don’t believe that those influencers, movie stars, or ultra elite wake up happy every morning because of how they conquered their suffering, nor do they live blissful & beautiful lives. With the exception of monks (who I think suffer in their own way), everyone has pain, everyone suffers, & if you realize it or not, you’re totally cracked in some way…you might just hide it better than others. 

On that note, here’s an update for the old blog. 

I’m 42! 

How did I go from 29 to 42?!? Even 31 seems more like it…like…I’m within spitting distance of being middle aged? 

Thankfully my 42nd birthday broke a 3 year spell of horrendous birthdays. 39, 40, & 41 were tragic. No exaggeration. 

The boyfriend took me to West Edmonton Mall World Waterpark. For pandemic times…it was almost like spending the day somewhere in the Caribbean…& I even drank a Mai Thai on the “beach”. I went on a slide that goes in an upside down loop after the “floor” drops from underneath you…and it only took me 15 minutes or so to get my bathing suit removed from the crack of my butt. 

My soul & heart has felt heavy lately…and that one day helped me so, so much. I saw a few family members and a couple of friends…& it just was a great day. For years now…holidays…especially my birthday make me very anxious & wistful…and this year it wasn’t so hard. 

In less fun news, Mags is in heart failure. This wasn’t unexpected as she’s 14 & has had a heart murmur for years…but she’s always been like a puppy, it never felt like I had an old dog. After 3 gazillion dollars in vet bills, 4 olympics sized pools full of my tears, 7 years off of my life from worrying & stressing about her…she’s doing pretty good. She takes heart medication & eats a lot & plays with the odd sock kicking around…and is taking in the retired life. It took me a longgggg time to realize that a  “senior” versus a “suffering” dog are two very different things and this dog is not suffering. (Given her history for acting and dramatics, she may not even be sick…she’s just faking it for the treats.) I know Maggie won’t be here forever and that is heartbreaking…but wow have I ever had the best friend/companion/support/life preserver that anyone could ask for. All 3.5kg of Maggie is pure love and she’s unlike any dog I’ve met. 

Blue may not be as sad as the rest of us will be after Maggie dies. She looks so innocent…but I’m convinced that she’s a bitch to him when I’m not looking. 

In a couple of weeks, I’ll have a few more pictures…I’m participating in a photo shoot for a cause near to my heart. Looking forward to that.