Just NB

I'm trying to stay positive through the divorce stuff, but I'm not always successful. Another thing I'm not successful at? Writing when I have good  day. I have to do that a lot  more. I have to take time out to appreciate the good days because  there are lots.  Yup, there are some pretty big challenges for me to overcome. None too big that I won't be able to.  Life is full of ups and downs. Fighting that won't get me anywhere.  Taking actions to change the things I can change will. 

It's nearly the end of November. (Crap, I have to send mail my mom her birthday present!!). A random comment a friend said made me think about the past 11 months. 2013 as a whole. It certainly hasn't been my best year. It hasn't been my worst year either.   But I kinda want it to be over. Yes, there were many highlights in 2013. Positive life-changing events. My trip to Czech Republic and to Morocco will never be forgotten. I met two new friends in Montreal that helped me get through a lonely time, that continue to remain very special to me. Reconnecting with Edmonton friends and being able to spend time with some of those that I love was big enough for me to want to stay here for at least a year. All amazing, wonderful things.   So why can't I just be grateful? I AM thankful and I AM incredibly grateful for all that I have. So why can't I just accept all of it and be happy?   I briefly mentioned last month that I was going to Montreal to pack my thing...

I have a gazillion posts in draft mode that never seem to get published. Throughout my blog history, I've gone through periods of time where I haven't been comfortable sharing my life with the world wide web (I feel like I'm dating myself by calling it that? Now it's like the interwebs or something like that?). This is one of those times. I had planned to continue to write about life, cause   I like to and I've been doing it for over for years, but the last few months are just  toooooo different and too unpredictable. It\s very confusing, because I feel grateful, thankful, and that I live a very blessed life. I also have A LOT of laughter and good times - of course along with the regular expected moments of grief. There is lots of good in my life, along with the less-than-good, and both seem too intimate and private to share. I check Google Analytics from time to time and see that people actually read this junk I write and it makes me uncomfortable. As far as ...

Ah well. If I need lame kickboxing and step aerobics as my escape for a bit - which means stopping half way through class tonight so that I don't puke - but still means that I go to class and feel a lot better afterward...than so be it.  One last thing I forgot to add. Another thing that happened in the last 9 days. Two hours after I picked up my car, I was coming out if the gym...and saw this:  That would be a big scratch from the parking lot. Seems like my car destiny is mean to always drive a banged up car...even if it's just a little bang. :)

I look and my last post was nine days ago. I'm not going to go back and read what I wrote, I don't imagine it was particularly happy. I had a bit of a setback, turns out that I'm allergic to divorce lawyers - even talking to them on the phone makes me sick. So I've put that on hold for awhile and am focusing on other things. In the last nine days, I've done a lot. I've gone to at least 5 or 6 lame but none-the-less hard classes at the gym, I picked up a car that I bought - which is exciting to have something of my own and not have to rely on borrowing other people's cars, I've gone over to a friend's house, I went out for supper, I had a night on the town, and I've probably only cried 7 out of those 9 days. It's a big improvement actually. I'm sure that tonight I'd feel much better if I went and worked out, but I ate a big lunch...(actually, I've been eating pretty freaking poorly this week...and last week...and maybe the we...

Today was another roller coaster ride. I knew I wasn't in the greatest mood...but I wanted to get out and do something.  For some reason. Craig agreed to join me and we went to the downtown farmer's market, which had moved into City Hall for the cooler temperatures.  I'm lucky Craig was with me...because the borrowed truck I'm driving is crazy hard to park and I needed him to get out and direct me for at least seven minutes.  The parking meter was a whole different challenge...like seriously, I've been away from Canada for too long...I'm really, really out of the loop for these simple kinda if things. I think at one point, I yelled, Where are the instructions on these things for African people!!!! (Thankfully....there were no actual African people around me...that could have been awkward.  Speaking of vehicles, I finally bought my own. I bought a used Civic...because even though I want to create a new start with different things...why mess with something I alrea...

Well, all that anxiety and uneasiness about going to Montreal for the weekend will have to wait. The trip will be postponed for just over three weeks. Lots of reasons why, but the best one is that I'm just not ready. The last 2+ months I've had to process about a million small changes, and this one isn't that I'm not ready for. It's only a few weeks, but as I've experienced - a lot can change in a three weeks. So here's to shopping at any discount store, borrowing jackets/sweaters from family, and hanging out here and getting things a bit more organized.