To the Beach

I'm thankful that I had the help of Louis' ex with my wallet/no electricity issues.

That I have the dog (and that they don't really want it back...they kind of like having a break from her - while I enjoy her...well, most of the time. I'm getting almost used to the panic-attack barking if there is a bird/bug/wind/lightning/fart/etc) to run around with (or really, I just stay in one place and tell her to run one direction, then tell her to run the other direction, and she repeats this for fifteen to twenty minutes until I get bored. This is hilarious and we both look pretty stupid. It would be awesome if she could listen and I could take her off leash). I'm thankful that I sort-of have Skype with Louis (the lack of connection is painful most times, but worth it in the end).

That I've driven around town, quite frequently without my GPS and now have succesfully driven in rush hour Montreal traffic (and survived!).

But this week has sucked. I'm sure it hasn't sucked completely, I'm sure there have been good moments, but I feel like crap. I haven't cooked since the power has been back on (ok, I microwaved something), I've spent far too much money (and wasted calories) eating out, when I haven't event felt like it, I've just been in a funk since the wallet/power outage and don't feel like cooking for myself.

I completed a lot of important errands, but the list is still very long. That's what I've been doing for fun: errands and working out. (There's been very minimal working out while my hamstring gets better - I think in a few more days I'll be fine).

Some nightime phone calls with Louis have been good. Others have been horrible. I recently spoke with someone, a fellow expatriate, who felt that that they have a very solid marriage, but that the distance was a huge and frequent stress on their marriage. Louis is really busy at work, and so positive minded and forward oriented, but I'm not. I'm busy with errands that I make for myself, I slip in between states of positivity and negativity, and as a worrier, I can focus on the past too much if I'm not careful.

I rarely call anyone because I just don't feel like talking about anything. I'm trying to change that. I want to regularly call the people in my life, just so that....I talk to people more than the dog? No, not just that, (although seriously...it's normal to sing to the dog...right?!), but I want to just chat about nothing and everything....and have a phone social network while I'm building my Quebec social network. Of which there has been progress. A friend's sister-in-law and I will hang out at one point (I'm pretty sure next week), an ex-coworker and I will meet for lunch, and all I need to do is to send an email to an ex-collegue's wife to meet for coffee...(something that I haven't managed to do. For the past two months. I feel so awkward about it).

And because my errands aren't really the fun kind....I went on-line to Montreal and Laval tourism, and picked out a few things that I'm interested in doing. Not all at once, but maybe if I do something like that once a week (or more, if it works out that way), it will help.

I'm starting with a river/beach that I've passed a few times near me. I've craned by neck because it looks like clean, fresh water, with a smaller number of people in canoes or kayaks or floating around. It feels kind of weird to be going by myself, so I'm bringing Maggie. It's quite possible, I'll bring Maggie for about ten minutes, go home, drop her off and come back (because of her fear of bird/wind/rain/oxygen/trees), but I'm hoping for the best, and it would be nice to go for a long walk with her, maybe even toss her in the water if she's up for it (most likely, open water will be added to her list of fears, but whatevs).

To an extent, I'm proud of myself for continually trying to: get out more, be easier on myself, relax more, think less, etc, etc.