Just NB

Well, even though Monday was a little odd, and I missed a lunch date, I feel much more like "myself" for whatever that means. I'm back to running errands, organizing the house, and kind of feeling less blue. Certainly helping is that I'm going for lunch with a new friend, and have another lunch on Friday (that's part networking, part catching up), and I just feel like I have some energy back.

I should start off by saying that I'm lucky that I already have a good doctor that I trust. But he's special. I'm not sure where he's originally from, but he's nice and funny while being extremely abrupt. He isn't accepting new patients, but works in a Walk-In Clinic, so I go there to see him. It's in Montreal, which meant a bit of nerve-wracking driving. Nerve wracking - because I'll be driving 110 to 115km on a 100km freeway, and I get tailgated. There are THREE lanes, and I drive in the middle one, because most of the time the far right late is always connecting to a merging lane and I want to give the merging drivers' some space and not be going back and forth to two different lanes. Anyway, some drivers are serious assholes. And there are too many of them. And that kinda stresses me out. I had an appointment last week and I was told to come in Monday and tell the nurse that, "Dr. X told me to tell you that I'm here to see him at 11h3...

No Cafe Depot today. Not much of anything today. The weather wasn't great (I was out at one point and I couldn't see it was raining so hard), but I was just kind of too down to do much. Some days I get tired of trying to be happy or positive. So I guess I took a day off from that and just let myself be sad and lonely, all while in good company of one tired and smelly dog. (And Netflix). I remember having crappy days like this when I first moved to Madagascar and didn't know anyone. I guess the feelings are normal... So tomorrow I'm starting a new week with a busy day, a (hopefully quick) doctor's appointment, lunch with a new friend, and then yoga in the evening.  I hope tomorrow is a better day. 

I wonder about the people that read my blog (I see you on Google Reader, yet I never see you comment, I have never understood that).. Is it some kind of car-crash effect? You can't turn away from watching the mess unfold? Today wasn't my best day, and there are some behind the scenes issues where I wasn't surprised that I felt so blue/crappy, but I tried, I guess. I went to this river that I drove by that always looked nice. The dog came with me and she had a freaking party. So many things to smell and lots of room to run around (by run around, I mean I tell her to go one direction, then call her back and tell her to go the other direction, because she is always on a leash as she is listening-challenged and/or I am lacking in Ceasar Milan training). She even conquered her fear of drinking water from a container outside of her cage. I'm not kidding. She's scared of containers and she's scared to drink water from any bowl outside of her cage. Big steps. Anyw...

I'm thankful that I had the help of Louis' ex with my wallet/no electricity issues. That I have the dog (and that they don't really want it back...they kind of like having a break from her - while I enjoy her...well, most of the time. I'm getting almost used to the panic-attack barking if there is a bird/bug/wind/lightning/fart/etc) to run around with (or really, I just stay in one place and tell her to run one direction, then tell her to run the other direction, and she repeats this for fifteen to twenty minutes until I get bored. This is hilarious and we both look pretty stupid. It would be awesome if she could listen and I could take her off leash). I'm thankful that I sort-of have Skype with Louis (the lack of connection is painful most times, but worth it in the end). That I've driven around town, quite frequently without my GPS and now have succesfully driven in rush hour Montreal traffic (and survived!). But this week has sucked. I'm sure it ha...

I was thinking today...I think I like Quebec (less the fact that there are NO coke slurpees. This is just ridiculous).  Although I should try to incorporate more fun/touristy ideas in my week, I've been running around doing all kinds of errands, sort of maybe learning the city, and potentially feeling like I could make it here (note: a post next week might be published how I hate it here...). (My priority is still to work overseas, but that's only for a few years). There are so many things to do here, so many new places, so much fun to be had. Alberta will always be my first home, but I think I could get used to living in Quebec (especially if I could find a place that sells Coke slurpees). Last night and yesterday I had no plans, didn't do any errands, and didn't go to yoga. One reason was because I wanted a blizzard, and I think that's the last thing that you can eat pre-yoga, but another reason is because I'm trying to occasionally stop with the errands and a...

I'm very aware that my blog has taken quite a turn. It's a lot of huge ups and downs, almost little to no pictures, and a lot of self analysis (ok, that part has stayed the same), and sometimes I worry that I come off like I'm, I don't know, someone with a perfect life complaining over and over about a hangnail. I think sometimes I don't write because of that. But there's still something that brings me back, that makes me want to write...not sure what it is. Yesterday I woke up feeling ok. Not fantastic, because of the night before, but certainly feeling less emotional and worried about the future. I made a list of every nagging task on Sunday, and I wanted to start the week by crossing off a lot of those tasks off. I almost didn't get started. It could have been really easy to stay home and mope around. (Maggie would have liked that, I'm sure). I also looked at a yoga studio and saw that there was an evening class, and I made a plan to go. I knew ...