Just NB

Let me share some pictures of our trip so far, from Edmonton to Regina.  Annnnd repeat. It's all pretty flat. Add in a hill or two, but they went by so quickly I wasn't able to take a pic.  I managed to only sleep an hour, which is nothing short of a miracle for me (I can't stay awake in the passenger seat & I'm not a lover of driving). I looked over at Louis a few times, hardly able to beleive this scenario. Him & I, plucked from the jungle, driving across the prairies.  And now, to make things even seem even more impossible, we're sitting on a couch in a sports bar, with ME cheering for the Colorado Avalanche. If you haven't had a chance to (& feel like it), check out any recent press junkets where the new coach, Patrick Roy, speaks. I personally kinda...well, I hated him as a player, but as a coach (minus the first week of the season or so.. ;) ), I find him inspiring and capturing like the real, old school hockey spirit.  Goodnight from Saskatche...

I've been pretty quiet lately. A lot of posts in my head...but missing any desire to write them. I thought that this whole moving thing was going ok. Until yesterday afternoon. I said goodbye to my grandparents and one aunt and was a mess. I felt like I was crying for the past twelve months of events (although I certainly have cried my fair share during the last 12 months). Louis and I were both unprepared for the effect that this move would have on both of us.  This is an exciting chapter in our lives, but also a scary one. Like we're getting married for the first time, but we know first hand what happens when things go wrong.  Enough of the somber talk. This month hasn't been my favorite, even though a lot of progress has been made on so many different elements of my life. It's been a hard month, with a lot if struggles. I'll get into that later. This morning as I try to block out the mess of boxes around me, I feel lighter about moving than I have so far. I'm...

In September when I moved to Edmonton, I joined a gym because: I had little motivation to work out but knew I needed endorphins it was getting cold and I hadn't aclimatized to real cold I ran a few times here and there in Edmonton, but it got cold and I injured myself, so it wasn't even an option until just recently. Lately at the gym, I've been able to hop around and do whatever crazy shit they have us doing, with almost zero pain in my foot. The thought of running started to um...run through my mind. Group classes are a lot of fun and very motivating (and have given me some mean muscles :-P), but there certainly was something missing. Which brings me to today. I can't attend any gym classes on Saturday because I volunteer, I was feeling kinda anxious, not in a great mood, and home alone (Louis has taken my car to our friend's house to fix all of the wonderful finds that Go Honda found during their "26 Point Inspection". The estimate was over ...

Things might not be easy, things might not always be fun...but I worry way, way, way too much. Louis is in Alberta...and my worries and well, total freakouts about all of the change in my life...well, maybe they are still there, but I feel a lot better and a lot happier about what's to come. A REAL life in Canada. None of this expat crap. Living in a real house, together - not us both working 72 hour weeks. Spending half our time with the girls, the other half just the two of us...nearly a full month in my hometown together... Well, worrying about everything seems like a lot of wasted energy right now.

My brain, body, & maybe heart are worn down from trying to analyze/cope/and problem-solve all of the changes in my life lately. The breaking point was Saturday. Endless tears, not sure what to do, not sure where to go...just the feeling of having gone through the week a complete and total mess.  Which resulted in a killer headache, turned migraine, complete with some serious nausea. Which continued until today.  Thankfully, I went & stayed at my grandparents' place yesterday & last night. Today I had to come home to meet with a furniture guy & I got a well-timed visit from a friend, who just sat & talked with me. I needed that more than I realized.  Tomorrow morning, I pick Louis up from the airport...I'm nervous for this next step, but looking forward to having my partner-in-crime back to help me out & to spend some real time together. 

Seriously, I am so sensitive to jetlag. I landed Tuesday night and it's been a blur since then.  I had hoped going to the gym yesterday to help regulate things...but I ended up sleeping most of the day AND night. Never soundly, but never fully awake (I somehow dropped a bowl of yogurt in the kitchen...which already looked like some kind of explosion occurred).  I'm 1/8th part nervous for this next bit...Louis and I have seen each other for three weeks since July...and now we're spending a month together followed by a ten day road trip, followed by formally moving back in together.  The other 7/8ths just can't freaking wait for him to be here.  And 100% of me can't wait to be unjetlagged...and be a somewhat functioning person again. I have no idea how I managed to do the jetlag thing on a regular basis...

The last few days have passed so incredibly quickly...everything seems surreal. Just a few months ago...well, y'all know things were much different. Things obviously are still in transition, but Louis and I are leaving the island and I am beyond relieved.  Unfortunately I was out of town for his work going away cake/speech event, but it sounds like it was pretty spectacular. Louis was loved on big time. (Possibly not the best choice of words given the environment...but I can't think of a better way to put it). Everyone came out to show him how truly appreciated he is and how much he will be missed.  This morning we said goodbye to Serge, Louis' longterm driver, and someone I've grown to love. I managed to get in one picture before Serge was overwhelmed with emotion...I soon followed.  It kinda broke my heart to see Serge so upset.  Louis and I were both pretty stressed...packing was left to the very last second, we had five suitcases and four carryons...and registeri...